Gallowgate Toon

A couple of positives but totally outweighed by some absolutely massive negatives. Namely some of the most comical defending I've ever seen.

What the fuck's he doing with our central midfield? They were here nor there, today, fucking oceans of space in the middle.

He took Clichy down the line against City, if I recall, so he does have it. Just seems to be a little lacking in confidence and not baiting his man enough to make his move.

Useless knobhead.

He'll learn. He's a good mover off the ball and a talented playmaker but his style's going to have to change a. He'll also need more overlapping from the full back, if we keep him out right.

Some flashes of good things but he's not quite the target man Pardew wants him to be.

Hope that's Gouffran out, now. He's raw but makes space for others and doesn't hide when in possession.

Fucking Gouffran, man.

I really, really, really hope he drops Gouffran for this. I want Sissoko as our main central midfielder but would play him wide all season if it meant no Gouff.

Surely Lacazette would come here now that Lyon aren't in Europe?

He's looked a little lost in the opening couple of games. It'll be interesting to see how motivated he is this year now that it looks like he's probably not going to get his 'dream' move.

Man U are pretty passive. Neat enough in possession but not enough penetration, especially out wide. Sounds eerily familiar.

Indeed, Parky. There's still a functional side there but it lacks balance, purpose and direction.

Meh, he didn't have much trouble with his dribbling against City so I don't think it'll be too much of a problem. Just had to get used to the physical nature of playing here, we'll play more defences like Villa rather City so he'll now know what to expect, in terms of physicality. Teams like Villa will always double up on him, in which case he will need other players to move around. Good luck with that Remy. De Jong seems like he can think for himself and will move a bit, that's the only hope though.

Massive football pet hate of mine. Fans not giving players new to the league enough encouragement if they don't hit the ground running.

Meh, he didn't have much trouble with his dribbling against City so I don't think it'll be too much of a problem. Just had to get used to the physical nature of playing here, we'll play more defences like Villa rather City so he'll now know what to expect, in terms of physicality.

I'd play our strongest available eleven. Got to try and get some confidence into the new players, none of this faffing about.

It's only his second game in the league and he's already created some really good chances for others. He'll adapt and realise he has to release the ball quicker. Although, he should have done better with his chance. I just hope people don't directly compare him to Ben Arfa. He's not the same type of player and never will be.

Also, Villa were minging. They better hope Benteke comes back in to some decent form when he gets fit again. We at least had a semi-excuse of some new players adapting. Pardew-esque tactics from Lambert too. I swear he was much more positive when Norwich manager.

He has been better than expected Not a fashionable player but will be important for us considering how scrappy the majority of our games are probably going to be.

Absolutely grim that he subbed off Ayoze, like. Fucking Gouffran managed to stay on despite doing nowt but dwindle on the ball in good areas, miss easy chances and pass it back to his full back.

Thick. Still doesn't understand better ways to open up teams that sit deep.

Ready or not, he sticks wide and can drive to the byline and deliver a ball. Once again, our play today was too slow, too narrow and not direct enough.