bobbydazzla

Stand at the front ?

I bought a crate of Fosters from Asdas and have buried it on the moor so I can dig it up and get mortaz on 29th Nee way I’m bouncing around in a clarty field to MC Tazo with nee peeves

Neither of them have season tickets, but they go to loads of games

Saw my Man Utd mate yesterday, he’s furious at what Brexit Jim is doing to the club He was saying that there’s a new rule that if a season ticket holder at Old Trafford misses 3 x games over a season, they get their ST taken off them He’s also got to pay £60 per game for his son’s tickets now they’ve removed concessions And they’ve cut back the matchday staff so much that there wasn’t anyone manning a turnstile when he arrived slightly after kick off, so he was stuck outside I love to hate Man Utd, but chatting to him made me realise just how much Brexit Jim is totally fucking over the ordinary fan. Hypercapitalist wanker

the open top bus parade that has neither been confirmed or denied but is causing much ructions

why wait for the actual when you can whinge about the possible xG innit

They could just park an open top bus on a bridge over the central motorway and anyone who wants to can jog past and wave at the players & cup, be just like start of Great North Run so Health & Safety can’t have any complaints If the mountain will not come to Muhammad, then Muhammad will go to the mountain

Already spotted some tickets for sale on SeatUnique, £900 a pop Says they’re in the VIP section where you can drink peeve and you also get special noise cancelling headphones that have been tuned to block out Dury’s commentary during the match replay Tempted, tbh

He should be playing for Saudi Arabia not England

When you were there did you notice if the cows are back on yet ? They usually put them out to graze around March

I spent time with him this week and he came across like a top bloke, a good laugh who was happy to sit and chat shite with a numpty like me He’s Newcastle daft, loves golf, swears like a trooper, hates xG, talks about family life, his missus is fun too Put to bed the “don’t call me Alan, call me Mr Shearer” patter that gets bandied about I love him more than I already did

Ant n Dec could negotiate world peyce on the same day Jimmy Nail cured cancer and Shearer found a way to end global poverty and them daft cunts down the road would still find a reason to whinge about Newcastle, howl FTM at the moon and obsess over their falsified attendances

Standing up leads to better atmosphere People are more vocal and more animated when they’re stood up, it’s not rocket science We should massively increase the standing spaces in SJP and do it both ends of the ground I think Anfield has about 12,000ish and the Kop is 100% standing. Replicating that should be our minimum aim, in my humble opinion

There was a few RTG comments on Sunday that were along the lines of: ”the rivalry in the Ashley era was a great time for North East football, both clubs were circling the drain of the premier league and that made it brilliant” Which just sums up the batshit mental attitude of those hillbilly twats, they’re happy to be relegation fodder as long as the dreaded Mags are equally as shite

Also, Shearer was in Amsterdam getting life advice from bobbydazzla

I’m not ruling out the entirely plausible scenario that I got spiked in the Berlin techno nightclub on Sunday lunchtime and these last few days haven’t actually happened Last night I think I was in Amsterdam discussing life advice with Alan Shearer and I watched 6,000 people sing happy birthday to Steve Harper This is the best trip, I’ve ever been on

Wey nar marra

I was kissing and hugging random friendly men who had their tops off and were out of the minds with happiness Then I left the nightclub and went to watch the match

Sadly I didn’t see The Piss Goblin, maybe next time

Well that was wild Spent most of the day in Berghain dancing with loads of canny lads with their tarps arf Nipped out from the disco to watch the match backstage with Samuel Fender. Much emotion, not gonna lie Danced about at his gig, shouting HOWAY ZEEE LADDDZ at anyone in a toon shirt Went back to Berghain, danced with a bloke in a wetsuit Currently on my way to Amsterdam, questioning my life choices but in high spirits

It’s the Sven Adult Books Magpie Megadome, actually