Pilko

Albrighton and Evans 1+ SOT 26/1 Ndidi and Milner cards 20/1 Wijnaldum and Maddison cards 45/1 Small stakes on all the above.

Sky Boost at 15/2 - Norwich, Cardiff, Watford Thinking a SOT bet of mainly Leicester players in the early. Liverpool always a huge letdown for SOTs other than Salah who's priced poorly.

4 now the goalie is in the book could this be the first instance of the entire starting XI being booked other than the guy we've all backed?

Get on the Augsburg left back quickly, the yellows are making their way across to him

I'm on Wullie - good shout.

So naturally after having money on that shitshow last night, I decide to give tonight a miss. 17 shots on target and counting

Van de Beek looks proper shite. Been watching Jonjo too much, pinging crossfield passes behind people into touch

And of course, I hummed and harred over Dallas or Klich and chose the wrong one. £124 it was worth ffs

Raphinha goal, Riedewald and Dallas cards 150/1

I for one cannot believe that someone strongly associated with Liverpool Football Club would turn out to be an insufferable fucking tosspot.

Agree with this entirely. I hate how managers/players have to face the cameras (and criticism eh Steve) after every game but referees are never taken to task despite the uniformly shit standard of officiating in England. I don't condone death threats/vile social media abuse to refs (or anyone) either, but when their wank decisions don't lead to any kind of negative for them I can sort of see why the more deranged fan would direct that at a referee through those channels for sure. Particularly someone as smug, attention-seeking and arrogant as Mike Dean.

Free £5er tonight on Raphinha 2+, Klich 1+ and Harrison 1+ SOT if they all play. About 24/1.

Can't wait to see Mount, Henderson and Rice start as we labour to a 0-0 draw with the jocks.

Basham SOT 12/1 my last poke at salvaging a cack weekend.

I liked the one with the two slappers who keep saying "tha goin threw!" despite it being a league game

Diagne for WBA could have them level here if he hadn't wandered offside like a Sunday morning player twice.

Hoejberg is unbelievably good.

Pereira 2+ SOT 25/1 Barnes, Traore, Soyuncu, Moutinho 1+ 160/1 Moutinho and Tielemans cards 33/1

Probably busy on the phone to Opta to find new ways to deny shots on target being classified the absolute fucking thieves.

Used my Paddy Power booster on Return the Favour, 25/1.

Hoejberg and Bartley 18/1 Peltier and Snodgrass 25/1 Snodgrass and Moura 2+ SOT 130/1

Decent start - Cavani, DCL and Fabianski posting good scores. Still 8 players to go.

Anyone get on Tuanzebe quickly enough?

"The way wuh went about wah work" is his new thicko cliche.

Let's hope it's like Oba Martins away at Villa stretchered off with what was later described as a "severe dead leg".