Pilko

Sounds like Dummett, Sammy and Vuckic are doing pretty well so far. Would be nice if one of the young uns/reserves on the bench could come on and give Pardew summat to think about. Hopefully Campbell.

'The Kinnear Effect', ladies and gentleman. Hold those new signings Joe, we're playing mint!

FUCK YOU MOTHERWELL BASTAAAAAAARDS

We will lose 1-0 IMO, they have already played a bit and trained for longer.

Spot on article that.

I'm sticking to my initial theory of him being late back from internationals leave and having those gym-based fitness tests till I see quotes or evidence of him training alone every single day.

The first few weeks of the season are always the hardest to bet on. There is no 'form' any more and the bigger sides often falter a bit.

Having now read the article, surely Cisse will have been in for the gym-based tests that all the players had last week? He'll have missed those cos he was on extended leave. There's nee fucking quotes or anything.

Quite probably. They left a few who were behind at home a few years ago when we did that training camp in Ireland. That said, if the article is correct and it is about the Wonga thing then we're a fucking pathetic shambles, again. Knowing us we'll probably swap him for Bent cos he's also training on his own, great deal and that.

Why is it that they find a fucking buyer in five minutes and we had to sit through that godawful non-sale summer? Pisstake.

If Darren Bent is our sole addition on the striking front (which I'm sure he probably will be) then that £10 I stuck on us to get relegated is looking like a fantastic bet.

Haha, he's a fucking loon.

It's all to do with him not wanting to drop Cabaye (fair one really), Tiote or Gutierrez. The latter two shouldn't be anywhere near the team at the moment IMO, both absolute liabilities.

Hopefully this means that we'll be signing new strikers to push him down the order and therefore he can fuck off to play for them whenever he likes.

'How many months do you reckon you'll last, Alan?'

Aye, the ones who did loads of extra internationals have an extra week off. Hopefully it won't be another farcical situation where the likes of Cabaye and Cisse are barely fit enough to feature in any pre-season games.

The keeper saved a pen, holy fuck

Could probably do with Lawro making some sexist comments on this to spice things up a bit.

It's a bit like watching Danny Baker's Goals and Gaffes

Probably Adam Campbell, it's a dinky little top that.

Whilst I think Sammy has some good attributes, namely his flair and creativity, he has a lot to do before he should even be a fixture on our bench. Let us all remember that Carroll had a fairly shit and ineffectual loan to Preston and looked like a bit of a write-off before the second half of the relegation season and then the season he exploded for us in the Championship. If Sammy can have another six months in the Championship there's just as much chance he could come back and do well for us then there is he'll still be shit and moved on.

Aye, similar players tbh. They are if you used to listen to the Three Legends. I'm sure Malcolm McDonald said something about 'get Ryan Taylor on the wing, running at fullbacks'.

When was the interview recorded?

Add Shola leaving into that package and you've got a very happy Fenham Mag. But a very unhappy Fenham Eusebio.

If we added Bent and Remy to our strike force I'd be well happy with that like.