Pilko

Steve Stone?

Trust me you dont want to know. http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/133/156/1307840292001.jpg?1307846858 :lol:

:lol: What's funny? The bit in bold is correct.

Defoe's probably got the worst penalty conversion record I can remember. Only Robbie Keane comes close, actually.

It's all relative ffs, if we were genuinely on the bare bones of our arse then that would be absolutely outstanding. We've brought in £39m worth of fees since January and spent £4.6m, roughly £10m should we get Erding. That's shit. We'll have spent £16.75m on transfer fees since January if we buy Erdinc for £6.5m. Marveaux and Ba will have cost us a few million as well (as will signing on/agent fees for the rest), so conservatively we'll have spent something just over £20m. There should definitely be cash left to spend. I've left out agent fees and signing on fees, it's only since we've had this £35m to spend that the club has suddenly started counting those in money spent. I'm aware that could be a very clever move to make us not get held to ransom due to have a large amount of unspent money, but I choose believe that it's just bullshit from Pardew upwards.

Steven Taylor, but otherwise aye. Just three.

It's all relative ffs, if we were genuinely on the bare bones of our arse then that would be absolutely outstanding. We've brought in £39m worth of fees since January and spent £4.6m, roughly £10m should we get Erding. That's shit.

Guarantee that one of our team (Vuckic or Forster, they're tall) will be struck by lightning.

Blatantly someone else, it's far too nicely punctuated. Dave could have written that ffs.

Phil Airey has signed a long-term contract and we've sold Best for £1m to Wolves or something. You watch.

this will be like that time Dean Saunders came off the bench for us. Although, I'd rather see Derek Wright than Stone. I'm sure Wright managed to evade Steven Taylor in that training ground mass match to score a winning goal.

It's still ridiculously rare and all of those players have since proved that those seasons were absolute flukes. You can't realistically say "we need to sign a twenty goal striker!" Aye, I agree with the principal of what you're saying. Only Pardew though has claimed Ba will net 15-20 goals for us, although he has a 1 in 2 record for an absolutely shoddy as fuck West Ham side, so those assumptions in theory aren't too badly wrong.

Andy Johnson got 21 for Palace in 04/05. Beattie got 23 for Southampton and Viduka 20 for Leeds in 02/03. Loads of players including Roque Santa Cruz and Michael Bridges () have also hit 19.

Yeah, but their utility bills will be through the roof. Swings and roundabouts.

Missing against Sunderland. Fucking wonderful.

Yep.

Whats' funny? Just amused me because IMO it's clearly linked to all this about Enrique in some way. The player himself sounds a bit baffled and it's not like he's even been free from injury himself. Yep, nothing to do with having four fit defenders in our first-team (USA) pool.

You don't see much evidence of professionalism from the players or the management. The club's hierarchy are taking the piss and it's breeding similar from the players. It's not a surprise at all.

Maric could be replaced by Smith, who was about £6m and we won't recoup any of that.

Yep. It'll be Dairylea triangles for us next season.

Tiote will pick up suspensions and there'll be rotation for cup games and probably injuries. What with Guthrie's generally naff fitness record, and the shitness of Smith, I think we'll be seeing a fair bit of Abeid.

One of the most sensible things he could do is lean on Carver. It's often glib to say that every club needs someone who "understands the area, and the history, and the culture" or whatever, but Carver's been there and done it with SBR, one of our most successful modern-day managers. Pardew would be a fool not to draw on that experience. I wonder if the comparisons made by some that Erding is a bit like Bellamy might be why we're so keen on getting him?

As if Ashley would sanction Upson anyway, after the abject failure Sol was. It's a similar situation.