ChrisMcQuillan

I'm stuck in Ireland for the Chelsea game and can't use my Season Ticket. I am furious. F***ing furious.

Couldn't write it, could you?

Nile Ranger 1 - 0 Spain

Harper Beye Edgar Coloccini Enrique Duff Guthrie Nolan Jonas Lovenkrands Martins Bench: Forster, Cacapa, Geremi, Barton, Gonzalez, Owen, Viduka That'd be my call.

;D ;D

;D ;D

Injured again. He managed to injure himself sitting down on the bench.

Quel surprise. We never make changes until 67 minutes, when we'll take Martins off for Edgar or something stupid.

I think I might become a Burnley fan until this is sorted out.

Ashley has destroyed this club.

Don't you love our suicidal management?

Agreed.

We're down.

But it was? Until he tired he played solidly. Cut the guy a break. I'll be the first to admit he was rubbish last season, but he did a job last night. At least respect that.

Just saw two fire engines head up the back of the stadium.

We need a chant for this guy. Legend in the making, truly is.

Harper - 7 - Solid. Did a great job with the Rooney chance, rushing out and then blocking him instead of doing the natural thing to scramble back. Unlucky with first goal. S Taylor - 6 - Shaky. Made to look like the makeshift right-back he is. Still, against Man United, I guess he did okay. Coloccini - 8 - One of his stronger performances. Hope this heralds a return to form. Bassong - 8.5 - As usual, fantastic, with some great tackles. Enrique - 9 - What a player. Had Park in his pocket for most of the game, turning into a great LB. Just goes to show that it can take 50+ games to really settle. R Taylor - 6 - Still not impressing me. Did okay, and his set piece delivery was good. Not bringing quite enough to the right wing, though. Smith - 6.5 - Good first half with some excellent tackles (see Berbatov). Tired in the second half, didn't look match fit. Still, midfield looked a better unit with him there, and protected the backline well. Geremi - 6.5 - About the same as Smith. Didn't get rushed off the ball. Showed composure against classy opposition. An ok performance. Shame he has no drive. Jonas - 8 - Magnificent on the ball, just STILL no final ball. Getting rather frustrating. Lovenkrands - 7 - Got a goal, fair play. Heckled the backline and used his pace. Potential for a decent partnership with Martins. Looked good. Martins - 8 - As usual, his pace troubled United. Some nice shots. Getting back to form. Carroll - 6 - Didn't really do that much, but he did okay. LuaLua - 5.5 - Pretty anonymous. I know he wasn't on for long, but there wasn't really any sense of creative drive either. He did okay, and spread the play alright.

I think Geremi could be a useful asset. He's about the only player on the pitch who can drift useful balls over the top for Martins. Shame Man U will close him down too quickly, but if he gives it his all, he might be useful.

Team I pray for: Harper R Taylor Coloccini Bassong Enrique Lua Lua Geremi Smith Jonas Martins Viduka What I fear they'll play: Harper S Taylor Coloccini Bassong Enrique Cacapa R Taylor Geremi Smith Jonas Ameobi What I wish we were able to play: Harper Beye Coloccini Bassong Enrique Barton Nolan Jonas Owen Martins Carroll/Duke

What are the odds on Newcastle getting relegated?

We're getting relegated. Martins, Owen, Lovenkrands, Duff, Nolan, Barton, Beye, Bassong, Coloccini, Jonas and Enrique will all leave to play the football they can in teams that can play it.

Because Argentina play with real footballers. We play with overpaid, arthritic tits.

Well we lost 5-1 at HOME to Liverpool and it didnt make a bit of difference Not true! Given left for tuppence.

But he IS our fucking manager right now, which is why we have to get it sorted!

You can tell that commentator's medically qualified. Nicky Butt winced and grabbed his knee 20 minutes ago before being subbed. Now the guy's deduced he must have a... wait for it... knee injury.