Neil

"Handball!" What a detestable set of mongs.

The Kop's main non-racist chant there of "Handball!"

I don't know what an email is.

"Alan from Norwich says "I really like football" - thanks for that Alan. So do you agree or disagree with Alan's controversial statement? Send your texts in to The Football League Show and I'll read out the best ones at the end, probably whilst perching uncomfortably at the edge of this desk. Back to Manish."

What about when it's a leap year?

Hey, I was just putting the facts out there, as I saw them. Somebody else put it up here as some sort of definitive guide to European qualification. I did however completely overlook the possibility of Arsenal or Chelsea winning the CL and finishing outside the top 4, I guess I didn't see it as a possibility. I know, I know. It was a useful post, just enjoyed everyone still not knowing what was going on. It's one of those things I'll still not register in my mind despite reading about it numerous times.

MKSC's attempts to bring order have gone well.

Last I heard, he's getting pretty rave reviews so far this season.

I haven't seen loads of Vertonghen, but looking at the clubs' defences you've posted there, it's not hard to put forward some arguments why they'd need strengthening. Man Utd - Vidic is very good, Ferdinand is (has been) going downhill fast, Jones lacks experience (is he a natural CB?) Chelsea - Luiz has been unreliable on a spectacular basis, Cahill IMO is overrated, Terry I still think is a very good defender. Arsenal - does this really need to be discussed? Man City - Kompany has been the best defender in the league this year, Lescott is decent enough but you can easily improve on him, Toure's days there are numbered I'd imagine. Tottenham - King has a part-time job in being dead, Kaboul and Gallas are decent but again, easily can be improved upon.

"Right, wildcard time, let's shake this shit up." "Well, on Tuesday. Don't want to do anything absolutely mental."

Honestly, we don't have a solid defence. They have the odd good game but on a regular basis, we concede from minimal pressure. You and I both know - looking beyond this season/next season - where it's leading to if something doesn't change. We'll have to look at boosting our income through the most direct method - selling assets. That's an equally slippery slope because of how much of the money will have to go to the bank/get dissolved into nothingness due to a wealth of bullshit reasons given to us by the sorry sods we have running us. Last part sound familiar? Happy days! Anyway, back to your game... 10-0, Ameobi with 9, Ba's consciousness with the other.

I felt like a dick putting Everton down, because I knew you'd have that reaction Tbf, it's only because I have thought Fulham were a very dangerous team for a long time now. Also our record against them is pish. That said, you must be worried man. Your slump isn't ending, you're still goalshy and Jagielka/Distin seem to have been out for a while. I've been quite vocal about my increasing lack of faith in Moyes and his decisions. It's got to the point where I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if teams like Fulham (an average team) beat us at home; there's something majorly wrong. Doesn't help numerous players are randomly getting injured for 3-4 weeks at the same time. But that's just a partial cover of deeper reasons we're doing shit.

Harry Redknapp: 'I write like a two-year-old' I didn't believe this at first, thought it was some sort of spoof/joke. But then I saw this headline. "Well, y'see, thing is... I actually can't write anything at all."

At first I thought, oh, Beren's being optimistic about our chances, until I realised it was the list of teams he wanted to go through hence posing less threat to Newcastle.

Is it in the Copa del Rey the home team is always the lower league side in the early round(s)?

OK, so now rumours it's just a marketing joke.

Sam Lyon: "Bayern Munich will announce what they describe as a "spectacular" signing at 1300 GMT. Berbatov? Drogba? Tevez? Hhmm... "

Or maybe, just maybe, they went out because their finishing was shit?

A team who sold a player for £35m this time last year? Don't think he's doing anything wrong in trying to squeeze as much out as possible for one of his best players.

I'd be ecstatic if I earned £800 a week let alone get an £800 increase.

Keep reading the first part of this thread title as "Watford - NUFC miles away" and think "well, yes, obviously they are." http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/006/216/7nTnr.png

So, the drinks are very much on you mate.

Sums it up nicely.

Pepe with some halting there.