Lush Vlad

Going with realistic suggestions, seeing as I am skeptical about how the money will be spent and the type of player we can attract, I think Doyle is a good shout. Other threads have us talking about Lukaku, Gameiro and whoever else is good on Football Manager. Feel free to kill me now.

It might be a coincidence, but the two times he has captained the side (Villa and Spurs) he's been one of the worst players on the pitch. In both games he was too preoccupied in trying to wind others up, play every position on the pitch, bollock team mates for nothing in particular and try and ref the game himself. Got to love his fight and detrmination, but he needs to tone it down. I'm a massive fan of Joey, met him at Newmarket races and he 'seemed' like a stand up guy, didn't punch me or owt. However, if he carries on like he did yesterday against Man U he won't last 90 minutes.

Extremely harsh I don't think so. He constantly stands off his man allowing them to get up a head of steam, he looks far too nervy going forward and he constantly slices the ball to nowehere in particular when put under pressure. Can't fault his workrate and attitude and he's superb in the air for his size, but I just don't rate him.

Only seen him a few times and seen his goals and he looks half decent. However Samaras did ok in that league for a while!

Simpson quicker than Enrique! Even though Jose is clearly the quickest player in the squad? Didn't he used to be a 100m sprinter back in Spain as well? Simpson is a poor player, he backs off too much, panics on the ball and struggles badly with his positional play. He's a very average footballer.

If we're going to play the lone striker with HBA in the free role, then someone like Kevin Doyle might be worth a punt if Wolves go down. Shane Long perhaps, been linked a lot recently. Don't watch much SPL and it's hard to gauge quality of players up there, but I don't rate Bougherra at all. Remember him coming across as a total wanker last time we were linked. For those that do watch SPL what is Hooper like? Seems to score all types of goals and scored a shitload for a very poor team in the Championship. Still fairly young as well I think.

"Sheikh Tioté" He's that important now, he's more powerful than the ruler of Dubai.

Not sure Callejon would hack it over here, very skillful and direct and pretty quick, but is one of the worst divers I have seen. Either has the pain threshold of a 6 year old school girl or he's just a fecking cheat!

He stands out because the team he plays in is utter shite and has lacked fight until recently, still corkscrews himself into the ground by turning like a Jack Russell chasing his tail all match, just runs around like a loon bossing people about because he's the big fish. He's a good player, but player of the year? This is without rose tinted glasses on but Barton has been as good and Nolan is the top scoring midfielder in the league, counts for nowt obviously. Players like Modric and Van Der Vaart have quite clearly been better than him. Nani? Berbatov? Van Der Sar? All much more worthy of a nomination. I think he's a good player, but I've found the media hype surrounding him hilarious. They've started to play well since the return of Hitzlsperger (sp) it coincided with Parkers massive improvement. Both games against us he was annonymous and I don't remember there being a wankfest over him earlier in the season?

Hardly a vintage year is it!? Scott Parker is nominated , Coleman for the young players award ahead of Carroll Bale for player of the year when he's not even the best player at Spurs

Please do not send me a link of you cracking one off

Link please?

Still undecided as we have 7 games left, you never know, Shola might score 20 odd goals, but at the minute I would say: 1. Tiote 2. Barton 3. Nolan 4. Colo 5. Enrique

"This post is my preferred position at the base. I love google translate! Glad he's getting the house keys as well.

Maybe he's off to the flower show in London?

Excellent, excellent indeed. I really hope HBA gets his favorite role next season (AM). He will do more damage in that role than as a wide man. His speed, technique and shot will create havoc. When he has the ball, the defenders must push, which creates space and a disorganized line. This gives HBA the possibility to play the lm and rm through on goal. If HBA plays on the lm it's easier to double mark him, like Manure did with Bale. They led him into the middle of the pitch, forcing him to finish/deliver with his right foot. On the other hand HBA's technique is better. That should enable him to a greater extent to deal with such problems. Still I want him as a AM... Spot on this. Would also mean we don't have to blow a shit load on two quality strikers, maybe just one quality one and just a good one as a second striker/back up. I'd play HBA off the front man in the free role, or in the middle of an attacking 3 behind a lone striker. Do you mean this, or actually stick him in centre mid in a 4-4-2?

April Fools? He did his press conference yesterday mind, and that's where the quotes are from. Best also trained yesterday, if his injury is that bad, why did he take part in a full session??

http://www.journallive.co.uk/nufc/newcastle-united-news/2011/04/01/leon-best-may-be-out-for-rest-of-season-says-alan-pardew-61634-28439974/ O dear, fucking hell, Shola, Lovenkrands and Nil Ranger to score enough to keep us up then

So he broke down training with Ireland over a week ago, he trained yesterday, and now he's out for the season? Sounds like a load of bollocks that

Thought it was Jarvis Perch hacked down? One of the most blatant pens you'll ever see. http://www.nufc.co.uk/page/News/Gallery/0,,10278~2327873,00.html Best and Jose both took part in full contact training, good news if they both got through it ok.

Best, Ireland and Enrique all still doubtful. So much for his new approach of ruling players out by the Wednesday before a game! Hopefully Jose and Best are both fit, bring Best in for Lovenkrands and Guthrie for Tiote.

Plus an extra leg for stability, like a bloody tripod man!

When he scored at Swansea last season he had a massive boner then as well! Like the opposite to sports cock, it's meant to shrink surely?!

Realistically he could make the bench for Liverpool. Ramsey was out for far longer and he was playing again a month after returning to training (albeit in the reserves). If his cardio is at a good level and he is able to join in contact training from monday then he might be available before the end of the season. Just hope we don't rush him back and that we don't end up relying on him to get us points to keep us up.

How could I forget Xisco! What a waste of money.