Dr Colossus

Charva-socks Jonas and Colo flipping the bird

I hate Norwich's new home top and I've only seen people think it's lush. Looks so League Two.

That's more of an irrelevant comment than an unpopular opinion, really.

One of my favourite bits of non-NUFC commentary is him scoring on the last day of the season, "put through by Steve Bould, WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?!"

Premiership Winners: Chelsea Runners Up: Man Utd 3rd-6th: Man City, Arsenal, Spurs, Liverpool Relegation: Hull, Crystal Palace, Stoke Overachievers: Norwich, Southampton Underperformers: Us Top Goal Scorer: RVP Break Out Year: Jay Rodriguez, Ricky van Wolfswinkel, Nicklas Helenius, Wilfried Bony, Ross Barkley, Jordan Ibe, Victor Wanyama, Morgan Schneiderlin, Paulinho, Shinji Kagawa (list too long) Season to Forget: Darren Bent, Kolo Toure PFA Player of the Year: Juan Mata PFA Young Player of the Year: Wilfried Zaha Manager of the Year: Manuel Pellegrini First manager to quite/be sacked/'mutual consent': Mark Hughes Newcastle United Where will we finish?: mid-table, 10th-15th Top Goalscorer?: Hatem Ben Arfa How will we do in the cup competitions?: Terribly How will we do in the derby games?: Points shared Domestic Championship Promotion: Bolton, Reading, Watford Championship Relegation: Yeovil, Doncaster, Huddersfield League One Promotion: Peterborough, Wolves, Preston NE League One Relegation: Shrewsbury, Notts County, Walsall League Two Promotion: Chesterfield, Scunthorpe, Cheltenham League Two Relegation: Dagenham & Redbrige, Accrington Stanley, Morecambe FA Cup: Spurs League Cup: Arsenal (as if) Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Wolves Europe La Liga winner: Real Madrid Serie A winner: Juventus Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich Champions League winner: Bayern Munich Europa League winner: Napoli (Rafa loves it) World Player of the Year: Lionel Messi Other Will Darren Bent outscore our new strikers? What if he is our new strikers? Will Di Canio still be at the mackems come May 2014? How many points will Rangers win Scots Div 2 by? Will we field a team with 10 French players in this season? No How will Moyes do at Man United? Well, although slightly disappointing by their standards, needs a season or two etc. Will the new goal line technology be a success? Yes in terms of decisions but unpopular with droning pundits Will NUFC finally score from a set penis? Yes, Bafetimbi to crash one in with his dreads

A single raised arm or a single bouncing, pointed finger?

Likewise for Ronaldo's dribbling and pace.

Could also be down to them both trying to nail down the free spot in the front three with Messi and Neymar. Turns out it's good for players to have competition for places.

Respect, tbf.

Tweaked my team about loads all week, think I'm coming close to settling on: Mignolet (Mannone) Zabaleta Luiz Mertesacker (Clyne and Garrido) Walcott Mata Paulinho Navas (or Coutinho or Michu) (Yacob) Dzeko Berbatov Lambert

What? Fuck am I out of the loop.

I read he wouldn't miss any due to it being pre-season?

Maybe didn't want to uproot his family from Spain, didn't he become a dad recently?

Other headline: "Jozy Altidore: AZ Alkmaar striker prays for racist fans" Looks like those were answered then.

Is it Halilovic and Jedvaj? Hopefully not. Nope, Pittavic and Samosavic apparently. http://i.qkme.me/3v0z3b.jpg

Is it Halilovic and Jedvaj? Hopefully not.

Reading about Bayern's 15-1 and 9-1 (shit defending) friendly wins, this American U-18 Julian Green scored hat-tricks in both of them. The next Freddy Adu.

Yeah, on one hand he does that cool flick, on the other hand it goes out for a goal kick.

Whenever I'd seen Bojan play, he always seemed absolutely class at stroking the ball into the bottom right corner, and not especially great at much else.

:lol:

Pottery much less dangerous to punch through.

Notably cautious driver.

Peter Reid looks oddly like Bill Shankly in that photo.

Fine state of affairs when Rihanna is acting as the headteacher to the unruly mob of mackem imbeciles. Also, great picture on Twitter of sunderlands finest ladies having a collective p*ss in one of the sol urinals.....'Classy' link http://twitter.com/cjw_17/status/347990350100561920/photo/1 2,1,3. Didn't know you're mates with Warren G?

Rating this Mexico shirt. Balotelli's mascot has her shorts pulled up far too high. EDIT: REY MYSTERIO MASK! This concludes my pre-match preview.