Dr Colossus

First time in 4 years that all 22 players on the pitch are Spanish.

Zero points Filipe Luis autosubbed off for zero points Bojan, -2 points Chester still in there.

Fancied Berahino after his brace last week but again, price went too high

Joint fourth

And now he's dropped £0.1m in price so I can't just swap him for Azpilicueta.

Luis stays off, Chester comes on and I get 15 extra surprise points. Can definitely see Mourinho being a cunt after teasing me and giving points from Fabregas and Costa.

39, but if I'd played Sigurdsson and Chester it'd have been sixty fucking five

Could have been sailing out in front man, now with Liverpool and City tomorrow I'll probably be playing catch up by the time Chelsea play, weirdly hoping Luis and Fabregas don't play.

http://i.imgur.com/O1vpeSI.png

Isla "ineligible to play due to not receiving his international transfer certificate". Kaka you done fucked up.

Aluko on the bench for Hull

Was going to switch him on for Bojan as well after rumours he mightn't be starting, but the deadline passed.

http://i.imgur.com/lYo7vLh.png Starting to feel I've made a huge mistake with him playing in the hole against a team of children instead of out wide.

The anticipation is palpable. Against my better judgement, I'm genuinely very excited. Only a few hours to go now... ...until we can laugh at Kaka's FF team. Leaked http://i.imgur.com/9tM6mpJ.png

Tried emailing them already asking where Shola's shirt can be bought. They don't even have a fucking website, man. They'll know what it means...

or Mourinho gets it for winning the league.

Premiership Winners: Chelsea Runners Up: Man Utd 3rd-6th: Arsenal, Man City, Liverpool, Everton Relegation: West Brom, Sunderland, Leicester Overachievers: Burnley? Think Stoke might be a bit better on the pitch but not necessarily league position. Us? Underperformers: Southampton, Swansea unless Gylfi is mint again, Hull, Southampton, Aston Villa (half the league is s*** tbf) Top Goal Scorer: Diego Costa Break Out Year: Stevan Jovetic, Ander Herrera, Erik Lamela, Ben Davies, Harry Kane, Jordan Ibe (or so I hear from Liverpool fans' bleating) Season to Forget: Bafetimbi Gomis Graziano Pelle, Adnan Januzaj, Kun Aguero, Yaya Toure, Ideye Brown, Fabricio Coloccini , The 38-Game Slow And Painful Death Of Rio Ferdinand PFA Player of the Year: Eden Hazard PFA Young Player of the Year: Raheem Sterling / Christian Eriksen Manager of the Year: Louis van Gaal First manager to quit/be sacked/'mutual consent': Alan Irvine / Nigel Pearson Newcastle United Where will we finish?: 9-12 Top Goalscorer?: Siem de Jong How will we do in the cup competitions?: The usual How will we do in the derby games?: Hopefully, with a bit of luck we might actually try to f***ing win one! FA Cup: A Premier League team outside of the big four/five/six League Cup: A Premier League team inside the big four/five/six Johnstone's Paint Trophy: f*** knows, are Gateshead in that? Europe La Liga winner: Real Madrid Serie A winner: Napoli/Roma Bundesliga winner: Bayern Munich Champions League winner: Real, Chelsea or Bayern Europa League winner: Dortmund, Juventus, Liverpool, Man City, Monaco, Roma, Schalke or PSG (basically, a Champions League dropout) World Player of the Year: James Rodriguez Other Who will start the most games at left back for us? Someone who is not a first choice left-back. Failing that, Santon. Will Bojan be a success at Stoke? Moderate, he'll probably score 5-10 in the league How many times will we see 'arry hanging out of his window on transfer deadline day? His chin'll be spilling to the ground How many goals will Fernando Torres score this season? 2/3

That is awesome!! He gets his cock out for no reason and he's a genius, I do it and I'm sent home from school.

Thought the exact same thing about that hat Had a look at it from the side of the case and it said copyright 2006 on the side.

That Luzenac article is similar to Eibar's situation at the moment. Good read.

Whoosh.

*cough* Dutch away kit *cough* It's alright though, the pinky red parts stand out well.

Presumably he's saving the rest of his back for his Wikipedia sidebar when he retires.

'Ben Arfa 46'