Ste

Bro, it was only Chris Wood behind you. Chill.

Look at Jones with Miggy, like a proud father at sports day.

£81.75m seperated the two squads selected today in terms of spending. City of course missing Stones, Rodri, Phillips and Mendy. Man United missing Jones, Maguire, Wan-Bissaka, and van de Beek.

Tuned into Mark Goldbridge's United Stand watch-a-long for extra lols. He was crying about Man City being like a cheat code, like using mothers credit card on FIFA to buy all the best players. If I could be arsed, I'd do a side by side comparison of player fees for each squad and I'd guess they're not too far apart. In terms of net spend, Man U have spent more than any other team in Europe in the last decade.

Has he arrived yet?

Fun fact. Phil Foden is the only man in the stadium actually from the city of Manchester. What a moment.

Botman dressed like a man who dictates his inner thoughts every night to an assistant who is hunched over a typewriter. “Chapter 3. Bartholemew, do keep up. Quote, finding Sarah Connor, unquote”.

Hitzlsperger talks like a really bad ventriloquist.

Far too much turn and return football. Majority of players had the mentality of ‘don’t be the one to lose the ball’, they weren’t working decent passing angles in attack, they played the ball in the final third in ways that ensured the man receiving it would be the one to lose it. Bellingham and at times Foden were the only ones thinking ahead to their second touch to take them forward, the rest knew they were going to instantly shield it and lay it off. We’ve been told it’s a happy camp, the divides between players are gone, but they either don’t trust the system or don’t trust each other. Kane and Sterling played like they’ve just found the other in bed with their lass. When does Tomori get his chance if it’s not in his stadium against players he’s most familiar with?

How is that Bonnucci pass allowed to be controlled in space with three centre halves there ffs.

Gifted a throw in in Italys half. Sterling in good space points for the man to throw it backwards. Kind of sums things up.

We are becoming masterful at playing a pass in a forward position that ensures the receiver quickly loses the ball. Kane has done it a few times, laid a ball on in front of Sterling who gets a touch then is dispossessed.

Pretty timid thus far. Foden and Bellingham the only two who look like they belong. Next level players.

Being English, ex Man United, a perennial loser and having friends in the right places trumps being a *spit* filthy foreigner with their fancy pants tactics.

I think we are 4 transfer windows away from getting the squad in a position that we can be happy with.

Shame about the internet speeds, would make a canny forever home that.

We’ve missed him. Quicker recovery than seems to have been expected, good stuff.

I mean Ben Fozcast.

Fozcast has confirmed we offered him a contract and had a medical booked for him.

Kudus to Ajax, they didn't let their heads drop.

I don’t mind Adam Pearson so much now but I’ll never watch a video where it’s him sat in the house telling me what journalists have said. His matchday videos are okay though I fear he peaked during pre season with some genuinely funny videos. Mouth of the Tyne and Casey however, can both get fucked a thousand times over. Wraith too.

Karius to glory. On the bench. Hopefully always on the bench.

Was a big fan of his then girlfriend putting the boot in on Ashley when he left.