David Edgar

Never a foul. Gakpo moved into Schar.

Pope narrowly misses a punch and was "nowhere near it" with Gary the narrative Neville.

Sky clock stuck on 7 seconds.

So the XG for this game is gonna be a different story to the result. But that's not a good finish. Just kicked it at the keeper.

So Mitoma just waved an imaginary yellow and didn't get booked.

Save

Or score one

Brighton reverting to low XG pop shots from way out now. Should just stick to their guns and work those chances in the box.

Keeper just cleaned out Antonio there? Perfectly legal.

We did it by pressing them into oblivion from their goal kicks last year.

Brighton done by counter attacks.

Fulham moron. What a Tete.

Stupid Old Trafford sidings at it again.

Would hate Antony if I supported Manchester. His crossing is plain wank.

Ah well, fun for 15 minutes. They'll win from here.

Onana utterly priceless Bombscare goalkeeper.

Bournemouth just stopped

It was a deliberate finish after a perfectly timed run. A bit good, aye.

That's a bit good by Maddison.

3 pillow formation is king. 2 below your head, 1 to the side to roll into.

A West Ham win today would be magical. Todd can go and spend another hundred billion dollars on wonderkids.

They're trying to pump money into the club through a dodgy company Todd has set up but they're having trouble cos it is so fucking dodgy they've been called out.

Flush the blue turd.

Longstaff has been a waste of time on the ball.