Abra Dubravka

Even Monday Night Football has gone down hill. Show has been diluted so much now with guests on you don’t get Carragher and Neville hashing out, and analyses a few different points from weekend anymore. There be montage of players arriving, few clips of whoever guest is, introduction, adverts, then be one analytical piece that’s uploaded to YT anyway. Then more adverts, then 20 minutes of showing line ups and mundane manager interviews. After the match they’ll be interviews that are usually dull, talk about generic VAR referee decision, adverts, 5 minutes of analyses and then talk to Gus Poyet about why he was crap at Mackems, how Adam Johnson used to do his girlfriend’s homework on the team bus. Not what it used to be. Soccer Saturday from what I see has gone to s***. Don’t think it’s ever sold itself as prime intellectual punditry, more blokes talking about football and having a laugh, but now just seems filled with loads of people that aren’t interesting, funny or know what their talking about. Like who in their right mind wants to listen to Clinton Morrison battle with the English language or have Lescott play captain obvious.

Soccer Saturday has gone to the cleaners, jesus. Real brains trust there like

Not seen any mention of Fat Sam moaning on and claiming the PL is trying to relegate them. Same bloke who said football should be stopped because of the cough, but haven’t seen wearing a mask since! Record since he’s been there, including losing to the only team below them Sheff U the other week! P14 W2 D4 GF11 GA29 Trying to relegate them Think Allardyce is trying harder!

The Chron were just reporting what he said on 5Live as far as I can see? He was wittering on about how difficult the press is up here, with two papers that are Newcastle daft and 'get their teeth into something and don't let go'. So still laughably missing the point - given this story came from a national tabloid and the Chron are notoriously soft these days - but not an outright defence of Bruce, though I dare say that came later in the 5Live chatter. Nigel Pearson on the other hand was harping on about what a good bloke he is and what a partisan club this is. The reality, of course, is that it's only 'partisan' (if the quiet acceptance of mediocrity from 40-50,000 matchgoing supporters is 'partisan') when you've got horrendous wallopers like Souness, Pardew and Bruce bringing the status and reputation of the club into disrepute, invariably accompanied by horrendous performances and results on the pitch. Just more patronising and snide commentary being delivered by mainstream pros who think they have a broader understanding of the situation because they stank-up the place themselves for a couple of years. Whatever. I actually think there's a fair dollop of unconscious bias stacked against us when it comes to football writers and commentators. IMO they probably think the north east is a rough and ready place, and we should have a muck and nettles manager to match. Would explain why they were furious we didn't like Allardyce or Pardew, and now Bruce. Yet they seemed to hate that Rafa was so popular with his intelligence and football insight. I think they feel we should have a Harry Bassett type manager and it gets their goat that we expect something too sophisticated like tactics and flash football. Don’t think it’s really that to be honest, media where pretty accepting of Keegan and the entertainment he offered up. Never brought into there ever being any agendas in media reporting, but last 12 months have shown there is just a cowardism across pundits to call out and critique Bruce because he’s obviously well liked in the ‘football world’. Add to that most of these rent-a-gobs are employed on the back of their personalities, and simply playing the game counts automatically as being knowledgeable, analytical and considered in the opinions they form. None of them watch Newcastle each week, so just fall back on lazy fence sitting punditry like he’s doing a good job etc etc good bloke. Henry Winter is as far from muck and nettles as you can get, and he gets it. No agenda, just across the board mindless rent-a-gobs that won’t dare say anything to edgy as it might offend someone. Then you’ve the problem that Keane and Neville, two pundits who do tell it how it is with accuracy played with Bruce and obviously going to see things differently as they have a personal relationship with him. Even Carra made a quip the other week when they showed a clip of Neville and Bruce getting rinsed- Neville said Bruce should have been covering, but Bruce was at turtle pace and striker tan behind Neville - and Jamie said ‘that’s the closest You’ve ever come to criticising Steve Bruce!’

BT and their ‘let’s go to Peter Walton’ to tell us what we can already see grinds my gears.

He’ll be here as long as Ashley is around and/or up to his contract. If new owners ever come in he’s bound to be gone first set of bad performances. Whether that’s Championship or PL. Had hope that he’d go for a couple of days when the pressure seemed at its peak month or so ago, but resigned to him staying. Just hope to fuck we don’t get relegated, I don’t think there is any chance us bouncing back if we drop this time. Could be a while down there, and decade or more of even more misery.

Swear Xhaka cocks up like that about twice a season. Could have been 2-0 just before if PEA played Saka in bit better

Sturgeon is going to go batshit when she sees that

Why is it that other clubs are allowed to be demanding places to play, fans have high standards and can be tough to play for at plenty of clubs in the county. (What they always miss whilst focusing on the negative, is that SJP and Newcastle can be incredibly special place when team is going well, when players are putting effort and performances in) All across Europe you’ve got far more vitriolic fans than we could ever be, and far tougher press. In England West Ham, Everton fans, Spurs are always demanding despite winning bugger all for ages - nobody tells them to get in line and check their expectations. We’ve been in CL and Europe more than both Everton and West Ham combined in last 20 years, even West Ham have had couple relegations. There allowed to run onto a home game, protest about the Dildo brothers and moan like fuck when their down the bottom of the league each season. Fed up of hearing that us wanting better for our club is a bad thing. Expectation is a good thing, and it’s what I hate about Bruce so much - that he is part of the cabal that is conning us into thinking we don’t deserve better, and we aren’t allowed to want to improve.

Martin Keown talking far too much sense for TalkSPORT... Jim White tries to bring Alex Bruce and social media out of nowhere, for Keown to tell him Alex is getting too involved!

That’s the worst of his idioms for me like... It’s just so arrogant. The blokes loathsome. He really thinks he’s something special, and has done his entire time I football. Playing for Man United all that time has gone to his fat heed, and no one is allowed to tell him different whatever the subject is. Don’t even think Fat Sam is as bad as he is, although he’s antiquated in his own special way. Fair enough, he could have carved out a decent managerial career sticking around Championship level, occasionally having a season in PL like Warnock, but he’s failed at every attempt to build on and improve an established PL side. He’s a failure at PL level, but we’re all lead to believe he’s hard done by having to manage us, and he’s so footballing oracle like Yohan Cruijff or something, constantly being deprived of success at every hurdle as if it’s just some passing just because he played for Man U, won stuff there and played for SAF!

Would love it to be some randomer like Henri Saivet or Gillespie causing mischief; Dwight Gayle’s taken the news badly that he’s not getting a new deal and is happy to watch the place burn. Bound to be someone from the area like - Dummett, Longstaffs, Shola, Peter Ramage...

From what I can work out, last time these two creatures faced off was in 2010! Blackburn Mackems 0-0 http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/eng_prem/9085679.stm Bruce moaning in post match that his striker Darren Bent is the only player in the side capable of scoring, and doesn’t score.

http://doctorwhotv.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/molewindwillows.jpg Are you callin’ me a liar?

Given wasn’t from an era where being good with the ball was needed in a goalkeeper, certainly not in the PL. Might have been different had he gone and played on continent, but keepers being good with their feet has only really become necessary in last 5 or so years - certainly outside the top sides. Bit of an unfair metric to judge him on I’d say, seeing as his peers of the time weren’t much cop with the ball either. Up there with as one of the best in league for a few years. Doubt Dave Seaman would be too canny taking the ball in the 6 yard box, being closed down and pinging it out to Lauren’s feet on the wing 30 yards away over a wingers head.

Lard surely? Could just turn the canteen plant-based like the Forest Green veganist’s, that’d be sure to get him out the door!

Mix some ricin into his Utterly Butterly. Edit; Alex if your reading, no, that isn’t a death threat

Hatem Sol Campbell

If the club had anything about them we should be sticking a ban on players joining up with National teams like Klopp is. Not exactly like our squad is littered with international players as is, at least fit ones, but don’t need Dubravka heading off and getting crocked or coming back with the cuoof and isolating. Dubravka, Slovenia Jamal Lewis, N Ireland Fraser, Scotland Hendrick, Clark still getting games for Ireland? Joelinton, Brazilian Paralympic

Annoyingly, Bruce hasn’t actually had the reet hidings we’ve deserved a lot of times. Only Leicester 5-0 last year, and there was 5 away at City but no shame in that. Pardew used to concede 4+ like changing underwear. Bruce has an annoying knack of having us play a bag of shit, but either luck out that opposition are off it or just drag them down to our level. Even Brentford should have given us a hiding, Leicester home, Villa away, Sheff U all performances that deserved a stuffing. Man City took foot well of gas 2-0, that could have been anything if they weren’t going through mass fixture congestion and saving themselves.

Just go Bruce - I would rather get relegated with no manger than you. Ehh? Where’s the logic in that? Would rather stay up without Bruce, but defiantly want him stood there hands in pockets when Fulham send us down. Third club he’s taken down after Birmingham and Hull! Relegated three different clubs, he can shove his 20 odd years and 500 games up his pile ridden arsehole.

Hadn’t put thought to that, any finger pointing is surely only going to cause a deeper rift between him and the players. Instead he should be getting the whole squad together, letting whoever or the senior pros have their voice and sort out a plan to keep us all up. Bruce strikes me as someone who has to have control, the big I am - any power in dressing room from senior pros will have to be on his proviso, so seems the type of ego unlikely to want to seed any control in bothering to listen to any complaints. It’s a bit of a joke, as we don’t have particularly strong leaders on the pitch anyway, not from what I’m ever seeing. Last half against Southampton we showed some balls, but usually we’re soft as shit. Shelvey is forever flapping his arms and pointing when we concede, only ever seen Lascelles and Ritchie show any bollocks about them. It’s probably amateur hour when it comes to playing for Bruce in comparison to like Hassenhuttl or Nuno, but squad themselves need to take a look. More than enough of them have been shite for long enough, no need to be big time bastards and simply moan and point the finger.

Yeah thought that a bit of a story. Would have thought Sports and Conditioning would be managing players in individual level. Like say after Wolves, couple of players need to rest, miss sessions, do recovery - but whole team being designated last month, hmm... Surely any coach would be wanting his side on training ground in week like this. We’ve gone from period of midweek games each week so unable to get sessions in then, nows perfect opportunity to be on training ground working on stuff even if it’s low intensity stuff.

Surely he’ll have to retire end of season, or p*ss off to USA or some backwater league. Hope to f*** we don’t give him another year. He’s become a total joke of a footballer. Granted injuries, but how he’s let himself become so slow and unable to get around pitch last 5 years is incredible. Got to be a case for him just being a lazy fucker conditioning wise to allow himself to slide so far physically. He’s not even that good in the air anymore. Honestly some big lad from Blyth Spartans would be a better target man than we’ve seen this year. Championship this season has some relics up front, Deeney, Glen Murray, Steven Fletcher - but Carroll playing next season would make them three look like peak Ronaldo, Van Basten and Ibra!

I'm not convinced Hayden needs to be included in that list, but I know you rate him more than most. If Hayden’s out, we’ll be lining up without every player that’s shown us any semblance of form/ability/hope this season... Darlow, Manquillo, Schar, Almiron, ASM, Wilson. All down to a loanee from another club, and Dubravka to get in the way of everything and anything. I get that, but Hayden's been a bit rubbish for the last 3-4 games so I don't think he'd be a huge difference playing. Agreed, but he’s embarrassingly our best midfielder, and only one I’d try to rely on playing well. Thought he looked alright a RB that game few weeks ago, but he’s been hopeless at CB. Him all day over Shelvey, Hendrick or even Longstaffs. Rafa got a tune out of him and improved him greatly, but that was Rafa who could drill and coach a midfield 2 to pivot and move for the ball! In ideal world, we’d have invested properly in most important area of the team - midfield! So we wouldn’t be in the shit relying on likes of Isaac Hayden!