Nucasol

Without being Nelly Negative, they’re six behind and if we lost both games to Leicester and Chelsea 2-0 they’d only need a 3-0 v Southampton to claw us in. Think we get the point v Leicester to make it mathematically certain. Play the stiffs v Chelsea.

This?

Here’s hoping.

Reckon about £10m, presuming we don’t finish 4th and either have a Last 16 or drop into the Europe for a few more.

Shit bags. So we’ll get 15.6m, plus presumable 10m for group stages, a lot lower for coefficient (say 5m) and maybe 5m for tv pool. Basically 1 Botman, Gordon or Bruno, plus £10m of gate receipts. Still, that’s £45m more than we’d get for not being involved plus associated commercial bump which is far more important long term with FFP.

They’re entitled wankers who think the world begins and ends with their club, and that the rest of the known universe needs to roll over and let them tickle their bellies because 20 years worth of pools money helped them monopolise the English, and to an extent, European game. Seeing Klopp schlepping off to darkest Azerbaijan and Georgia for 2nd tier European games on a Thursday, with Sunday 2pms all around for a quiet Anfield full of tourists, will be catnip and just desserts for the donkey toothed knacka.

Will get one when she next pops round: .

Murph is a popular guy. Definite squad member for next season, don’t want to lose that camaraderie.

Presuming the Sky Sports MNF team will all be wearing funeral attire should their beloved Big 6 Beast Liverpool fail to make the top 4 because of an interloper.

If NUFC.com are right and Willock is hamstrung with Joelinton and Bruno both walking wounded then it makes complete sense. Depending on the way Liverpool v Villa goes he could get some game time.

Couple of straight reds v Arsenal today and/or minor muscle strains would be helpful.

Concrete shaggers in the mud, love to see it.

Off their tits on Monkey Dust.

Lampard morphing into evil Trevor in Eastenders, also recently seen as Sergeant Linus Mosk in Andor:

Will all depend on what happens with Kane. Keep him for next season and they’ll be fringe top 4. Lose him and it depends how they spend the money, could be a great chance to refresh or they’ll just plunge after losing a guaranteed 25+ goals a season.

Brentford Bukkake Party

Ashworth be clearing our Ashley’s stooges like…

She’s used to the haters. I’m sure she’ll shake it off.

With a ‘tache like that I’m completely unsurprised he’s a beast. Seedy as fuck.

As designed by Stevie Wonder on acid.

I don’t think they will. Volume of games is starting to kick in now and West Ham will be bang up for it this weekend. Fancy the Hammers to win that one. All depends on whether Brentford can put a dent in the scousers though.

Think they’ve got a minimum of 10 points in them - all three home games are wins (Wolves, Chelsea and Fulham) and I think at least a draw at Bournemouth which takes them to 73 and out of range of LiVARpool. They’ll be fine unless they fuck up one of the home games and that opens the door to the Scouse cheats.

Graeme Bailey sniffs bus seats.