JumpersForGoalposts

Almost pure sex

Thank god for that.

Murphy. Shit.

Again - Murphy. Shit.

Onana is a cheating lizard.

Murphy is pointlessly shit.

Nothing complicated, just a simple 6-0 spanking of the sc*use m*ckem cunts please.

I'm genuinely excited to see what Shelvey will bring alongside Bruno and Jur. Hopefully some incisive, yet considered playmaking, rather than '70 yard pass to ASM' Brewceball.

I do agree that he was value for money - we made nearly 30m from him, but the fact that he was out main striker shows just how poor we were at the time. He should have been a backup winger at best for a decent PL club.

Fair point about the fingers in ears. Still disagree about him being an asset. A cursory look at Leicester forums show that they are clamouring to get him off their wage bill, with only a year left on his contract.

I thought he was really poor. He had a run of goals through being the only outlet we had when we were terrible, but technically he was extremely limited and his attitude stank. Cupping your ears to your own fans? Exceptionally poorly judged. Absolutely no surprise that he's been awful at Leicester. We robbed them blind. Another striker who seems to be overinflated by the media right now is Toney. Am I the only one who thinks he's a less injury prone, but much less capable Carroll, who loves knocking in pens? Don't get it TBH.

I very clearly remember that we got 5th in spite of CockPissPardew. Every game, he would make the worst subs or no subs, negative tactics and shackled our talent. Tiote, Colo, Cabaye, Ba, HBA and Cisse came together by chance and carried that season through talent alone. In the background of Man Utd nearly winning that year with an awful squad, a 'just about good enough' Man City and Arsenal and Liverpool fumbling along. It was a very weak league at the time. Imagine what Howe could have done with those players.

Spot. On. ASM to tear them apart, rather than Murphy having the energy to shit the bed over every inch of the pitch. We are no longer also rans, and never forget it.

I hope we beat the cockney cunts. I have absolutely no doubt that we'll thoroughly outplay them, but it depends on how many opportunities the ref gets to get the 'right' result.

Dalgleish remains our worst ever, and we've had some real shit. Bruce or Kinnear are probably the most inept and Pardew was probably the most hateful, but Dalgleish did the most damage. He took the entertainers, ripped them apart and replaced them with his old Liverpool mates to give them a last payday. Top that off with the absolute dross that was listed above and you have an incredible hatchet job that took us from title contenders to relegation candidates. I just can't see how he thought a geriatric John Barnes and Ian Rush were acceptable replacements for Ginola and Ferdinand.

The fuck is going on here? I thought Froggy was a good lad. Must be hard seeing his team slide from number one in the 90s to a distant 7th best team in England. Can forgive him a meltdown or two TBH.

Relegation zone. Grim.

Grealish is shit and a drug driving nonce. Miggy is decent and a top lad. I know which one I'd rather have.

Best nickname I've seen on here yet.

I see Nonce FC are losing. Heh heh heh...

I'm glad Miggy got his goal, because I put him in my fantasy team. Wilson let me down, but Bruno had a blinder. Great day!

This is fucking gash like. Worst day of my life so far. Not even 3-0 up yet and Rachel Riley still hasn't shown up to my house pre-oiled and wielding the Howay 5-0 DVD. Absolute shite, man.

VAR likely cost us 7 points in a week. There is a long way to go before it evens out.

Pretty glad I gave Murphy some (albeit the weakest possible) praise earlier on his thread. Feels like I can celebrate rather than criticise.

I think the hardest part for them is that each club is completely representative of the City they are in. The SofL is a horrible, faded, flat pack shithole on a wasteland, filled will troggs on a matchday. SJP is an iconic ground, overlooking the City, with a team set to compete with the very best. It must be horrible for them, waking up on a spunk encrusted couch, shambling out onto the street in Pennywell, trying not to trip over the broken washing mashine in the fenceless, overgrown garden. After avoiding 13 year old single mothers pushing dogs around in prams, finally get to the Job Centre to sign on and hear someone say that Newcastle have won again and that they have electricity and everything. All that is left for them is walk to the library to get on the internet, sign onto Groomers and type some incoherent shite about sportswashing, before heading back home, beating their Mams and swapping some child porn for some turps, which they drink and pass out again on their sofa in the same 1998 SAFC shirt they've had on for over two months. No wonder they hate us so much.