JumpersForGoalposts

I'm going to hold off from referring to the League Cup as "this dog shit competition" because if we win it, I'll be 15 pints deep in my pants only outside of SJP with everyone else.

1990's Teletext says hi.

Loose kick by Pope headed by our own corner flag by Burn, before Shelvey hits a 80 yard cross field pass to Joelinton. Jur decks some cunt before slipping in ASM who pulls it back to nutmeg someone before crossing for Wood who heads it out for a throw.

That squad is rank. I tried to work out what I would go for, but I felt sick so stopped.

Some cunt on here going to do commentary? Get typing FFS!

HTL!

Bit surprised Murphy didn't get a start, but it makes sense to start Jur, since Brazil have shit the bed by not including him. Also, Pope in goal means that Eddie doesn't fully trust Darlow or Karius, which he's absolutely allowed to do, but those two may feel a bit hard done by. Other than that, all very sensible and HTL!

Anyone involved in any talks with A22 or any future ESL company should receive a lifetime ban from being involved in football. If anyone from the PL or the FA thinks about getting involved, I'd like to see MPs get involved and look at legal action. The ESL is only a force for greed and would be the death of English football. I can't convey in words just how much contempt I hold those who thought it would beca good idea, and I include the Sky 6 in that.

Agree that visualisation is critical for sports. It's been around for years and is very well proven.

I'm not being sensationalist here, but I genuinely think Howe is the best manager of my lifetime - better than Keegan and SBR, and I love them both dearly. He has it all, and I think we've just seen the first year of a dynasty that will end up being compared to SAF and Pep in time. Amazing time to be a Toon fan.

Not quite sure where personal attacks fit in on the Football forum, mind.

Darlow Manquillo Lascelles Burn Targett Anderson Shelvey Longstaff Fraser Wood ASM Burn because if he gets injured, Targett can step up in the PL. Longstaff because I think Bruno-Jur-Willock is our current PL midfield 3. ASM to get match fitness.

I hope so. He currently 4th choice CB, so the League Cup is a great opportunity for players like him and Dummett (after the WC when his calf has healed) to feel a bit of love on the pitch, when they have no chance of PL game time unless there is a bit of an injury crisis.

As a Durham Mag, I get very tired of reminding the scruffs that Durham runs from Tyne and Wear down to Teeside and as far inland as Cumbria. Their tiny little shithole town is on the periphary of our county and doesn't really feature on our radars, save a couple of little villages like Seaham.

I don't have any particular reason to dislike Southampton now they've got rid of that moaning nonce Hassenhutl, so I'd rather the Baconator was saved to be unleashed on a club with truly cuntish fans, like l*verpool, the m*ckems or the sc*use m*ckem cunts.

Not saying it didn't happen, but I was at the game in the home end and saw zero bother.

Once again, I don't care that you almost certainly don't care, but here are my match ratings now I'm all settled down post match. This is based on being sat right at the back, so if you think I'm talking bollocks, blame my eyesight: Pope - 6.5. One smart save in the first half, but other than that, made everything look simple apart from conceding at the end. Interesting that his kicking during the warm up was laser-like in its accuracy... Trippier - 8. Simply top class. Always on the front foot, turning defence into attack instantly. Sets an incredible example. Botman - 7. Rock solid as always. Great eye for when he needs to come across, and goes beneath the radar because he reads the game beautifully. Schar - 8. Compliments Botman perfectly. Won loads, covered everywhere and like Trippier, very quick to start the counter. Burn - 7. Apart from one miss control, was great on the ball. Like a proper left back today, but with the added bonus of being a 3rd CB who is great in the air. Hard to see how Targett will fit back in. Bruno - 9. Tough tackling, perfect ball retention, amazing passing. Scored a top goal too. Had the fans singing about him all day. Longstaff - 6. Got stuck in as he always does. Not bad. Willock - 7.5. Did what he had to do. Looked quicker today. Great movement for his goal, which looked like a mishit, but they all count, and I'm sure he'd say he meant to do that. Almiron - 7.5. Quiet, apart from the goal, which was top drawer. Good energy as always. Murphy - 5.5. Anonymous, but not as many shocking moments as usual. Wilson - 6. Good support play when he was on. Didn't get a chance other than a header (?) before he went off. Wood - 6.5. Quietish, not as much of a physical threat as I'd like, but took goal extremely well. ASM - 5.5. Not much came off for him today. Looks rusty, which is not surprising. Will get better. Shelvey - 6.5. Tracked back brilliantly to make a tackle at one point. Clearly wants his chance. Anderson - 6. Didn't notice much. Manquillo - 6. Didn't notice much. Overall - looked solid at the back, scrappy in the middle and sub par in attack, yet won 4-1 away, which is the sign of a successful club. Can't wait to see a match sharp ASM and Isak in, with Jur back to add that steel back to Midfield. Shelvey and Wood look like they can add depth too.

Barring one miscontrolled ball in attack, BDB was incredible today. Not only was he dominant in the air as always and being part of our impenetrable 3, he was surprisingly good on the ball and even joined the attack a couple of times. I'm stopping seeing him as a towering CB, and more a LB who has the added bonus of being an extra CB when required. It worked like a charm today.

And the transformation Schar has made is incredible. The amount of times he looks at Botman to cover, steps out, wins the ball and then plays a lovely pass is incredible. Howe has taken water and turned it into Dom Perignon with diamonds in it.

F me. If we are a park the bus side, then the ball must have magically teleported into the net 4 times today. We were pretty poor today, and still put four away. It must really hurt to be a Southampton fan right now, so I can understand the delirium on their forum.

Bookies have us as 3rd favourites to win the league above everyone but Man City and Arsenal. Feels like an important moment for us.

This. We were way off colour today, but still thrashed a Southampton side with a little bit of scrap in midfield, but zero quality. Stay well away from any of them, thanks.

Ref already looking a bit ropey

I think a draw serves our title ambitious best TBH

Never change.