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KK resigns - see OP for new club statement issued September 6th


Guest Darth Toon
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Guest f***thepress

Ashley has no idea what he has just done...none whatsoever...better find a hiding place Mike cos you aint welcome at St James anymore ....

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From this evenings Guardian "The Fiver"

 

 

 

NEWCASTLE UNITED: THE (SILENT) MOVIE III

 

MUSICAL ACCOMPANIMENT: The Fiver Rag (

http://guardian.chtah.com/a/tBIvWHqAY30QpAe9jDF$ILcQsql/fvr18 )

 

INT. ST JAMES' PARK SALOON BAR

 

Mr Keegan, Mr Wise and Mr Ashley are sitting at a table. The table is

covered by a sea of empty pint glasses.

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "I've got GBP12m of the James Milner money

burning a hole in my pocket. It's my round! What would you like,

Kev?"

 

Mr Keegan gets up and hops around with excitement.

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Keegan ~ "Cor! Emile Heskey please. Or Florent Malouda.

Or Aiden McGeady. Or Jermaine Pennant. Or..."

 

Mr Wise clips Mr Keegan round the back of the head.

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Wise ~ "Gawf! Kin leave it aht! You'll get what yer

given, yer greedy little runt!"

 

Mr Keegan takes his bowler hat off, scratches his head and starts to

cry. Mr Ashley gets up and waddles to the bar. He comes back with

three pints. He gives one to Mr Wise and downs the other two himself.

 

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "Doh! I forgot to get you your drink, Kevin!"

 

Mr Ashley gets up and waddles to the bar. He comes back with two

pints, which he downs.

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "Doh! I forgot to get you your drink, Kevin!"

 

Mr Ashley gets up and waddles to the bar. He comes back with two

pints, which he downs.

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "Doh! I forgot to get you your drink, Kevin!"

 

Mr Ashley gets up and waddles to the bar. He comes back with a glass

of tapwater and a packet of pork scratchings. He gives Kevin the

tapwater and eats the pork scratchings. Time is called.

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Keegan ~ "Bah!"

 

Mr Ashley lets out a massive rasping belch which blows Mr Keegan's

bowler hat clean off his head.

 

SOUND FX: Swannee whistle.

 

The hat sails out of the saloon doors and into the street, where it is

run over by a Ford Model T.

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Keegan ~ "Yaroo! That's the final straw! Enough is

enough! I'm making a dignified exit! I'm off!"

 

Mr Keegan scarpers out of the room.

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Wise ~ "Cripes, Mr Mike! E's gorn! Wot are we gahn ta

do? Oo's gonna..."

 

Mr Keegan re-enters, having run through the toilet doors rather than

the exit. He runs back across the saloon and out of the front doors,

a roll of toilet paper trailing from the back of his trousers.

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Wise ~ "... be our manager now? Alan Shearer, Gerard

Houllier, Didier Deschamps, Frank Rikjaard and Bernard Cribbins are

all options, gertcha innit, but I could do it too, Mr Mike, and I'm

7-4 favourite wiv ver 'kin bookies n'all!"

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "Yeah, yeah, first things first, stick out a

press release saying 'XXX'. Meanwhile I'm off for a jimmy."

 

Mr Ashley goes off to the bathroom. In the mirror, he catches the

wording on the back of his shirt: "King Kev."

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley (thinks) ~ "Oo-er! I'm going to have to get rid

of that!"

 

Mr Ashley stretches to peel the lettering off the back of his shirt,

but can't quite reach. He tries to extend his reach further round his

immense torso, but still can't quite get to the lettering. He tries

to extend his reach even further, but begins to spin round in circles

like a dog chasing his own tail. Dizzy, he stumbles out of the

bathroom, crashes into several tables, knocks over a hat-stand, and

staggers out of the saloon door.

 

EXT. ST JAMES' PARK

 

There are about a hundred fans chanting in support of Mr Keegan. A car

driven by an inverted pyramid of baton-wielding keystone kops chases

the mob in zigzags down the street. Mr Ashley stands in front of the

stadium looking dazed and confused. The entire facade comes crashing

down on top of Mr Ashley, but luckily he is standing where there was

an open window. Mr Ashley surveys the rubble all around his feet and

starts to cry.

 

TITLE CARD: Mr Ashley ~ "Wah! Ma club! Maybe I should have given Kev

some of the pork scratchings after all!"

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Guest Howaythetoon

Btw now is not the time for told you so, I think anyone jumping into this with that intent is a fucking cretin.

 

PS Wise has zero say on transfers I know that for a fact, he can scout players but it goes into reports which others then look at along with KK, (Terry mac can do the same, scout players) for most of the summer he has been wining and dining the managers, coaches and admin of local youth clubs and building relationships with them in regards to the academy.

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I'm buying HTT's story.

 

Sounds quite plausible.

 

This can not end well, though. I can't see how bridges can be built now. Fans have lost faith in Ashley and KK clearly isn't up for working with the Ashley vision or structure.

 

I agree, whatever happens now, it's not going to be good. If he does stay the media will keep relating to this incident, linking any loss/incident back to this, and more Keegan to be sacked stories will be printed. If he leaves, Ashley will have lost all respect of the fans, and getting a new manager in will be harder than it ever has been.

 

The only positives I can see from either scenario is that if Keegan stays, Ashley will know he can't fuck him about as the fans are well and truly on his side and if he leaves, it may entise Ashley to sell up and we could see a regime thats more willing to splash the cash. However whatever happens, I can't really see the positives coming through this mess.

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Guest f***thepress

Whilst i dont advocate violence ...i can see some peoples anger getting the better of them should Ashley turn up to the ground ...mind you id be in favour of burning him in effigy!

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Guest Howaythetoon

Why not switch SSN off fo0lks, I haven't watched it for a few days, does my head in, they are as clueless as anyone. I'm sure if any news happens, it will be on here within seconds.

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My take

 

KK offered his resignation last night which the board formally accepted with the finer details to be sorted out the following morning (today) due to the club's attempts to sell several players behind KK's back which as we all know he will not stand for. KK told a few of his staff and one or two players he'd be leaving which is where the leak come from. The club were never going to sack him and KK knew that so wanted to make it easy for them and indeed himself as he will never stand by happy to pick up a wage while things he's clearly against or unhappy with go on around him. This was all set to be done today, but several players have kicked off and due to the inevitable backlash from fans and the leak the club have been thrown by this and went into panic mode and have been trying to resolve it all day with KK who still wants to resign unless the board remove the obstacles he feels is stopping him doing his job (we can all take a stab at who and what these obstacles are). The club refuse to do so, but they are also refusing to sack him and accept his resignation in full so its a stalemate for now with KK on 'gardening leave' as of now. Hence no confirmation or denials thus far.

 

Howay Newcastle, don't f*** this up man  :weep:

 

As one of the vanguard who stuck by Keegan when the shit was flying last season, nothing depresses me more than the thought he's gone. Unfortunately for all his virtues, KK is a man who wants his own way even when he is wrong sometimes. Wise and Co have done very well in the transfer market and they should be trusted to get on with it, and KK should stick to doing what he does best, coaching, motivating and leading his players. When you start questioning the guy who is bank-rolling the club or demanding certain players are kept you are stepping on serious toes. It would be great if all this could be smoothed over but with it becoming public, I don't think there's any chance.

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