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Alan '48 points' Pardew


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http://metro.co.uk/2014/04/01/are-newcastle-united-currently-the-worst-team-in-the-premier-league-4683548/

 

(Written from a Southampton fan's perspective.  Not really much about us in there tbh. :lol:)

 

The link on the bottom of that article is both accurate and scathing.

http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/30/change-the-record-newcastle-united-fans-have-heard-all-alan-pardews-lame-excuses-before-4683564/

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Happy face finally come over to the darkside?

 

Been saying since February that form/results have sunk to such a consistently low level that the concerns over Ashley's ability to replace with better no longer eclipse concerns over Pardew's performance.

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Pardew's ideal (realistic) team would be something like this -

 

                Krul

 

Debuchy Willo Colo Dummet

Sissoko Noble Tiote Jonas

          Gouffran Carroll

 

He's not convinced with Dummett, like. He'll have Santon in ahead of him but he's not convinced with any of our left backs because none of them can defend :lol:

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Guest bimpy474

According to SSN he's going to shuffle the pack.

 

Shuffle all you like, not going make a difference if the dealers a massive useless spunkbucket.

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So, as well all know, the term "Pardewed" has entered our parlance recently to reflect when a player's ability seems to decline under our illustrious manager. I just did a quick tally on current squad players who have visibly improved or declined since Pardew started "managing" them and came up with the following list. I've split it into three broad categories, trying to strip away the context behind the improvement or decline (which is subjective but I'd presume most would agree with the majority of placings). Also note the N/A for players I've not seen enough prior to them signing for us to properly gauge.

 

IMPROVED (Visibly improved on the pitch, either by being given game time or raising the importance of their team role.)

  • Mike Williamson
  • Paul Dummett (Currently, also seems like a natural progression as with most young players)
  • Sammy Ameobi

 

MAINTAINED (Generally this section is reserved for players who were good before we signed them and have displayed the same qualities that made them decent purchases in the first place.)

  • Tim Krul
  • Rob Elliot (N/A)
  • Fabricio Coloccini
  • Steven Taylor
  • Ryan Taylor
  • Matheiu Debuchy (Could be improved depending on your valuation of Ligue 1)
  • Massadio Haidara (N/A)
  • Vurnon Anita
  • Cheick Tiote
  • Dan Gosling
  • Moussa Sissoko
  • Loic Remy

 

DECLINED (Visibly declining in ability, either through aging, "naturally" or by Pardew's hand.)

  • Davide Santon (From the next Paolo Maldini to the new Phil Neville)
  • Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa (Dropped for Steven Taylor & Colo arbitrarily)
  • Gael Bigirimana (Forgotten about)
  • Romain Amalfitano (Forgotten about more)
  • Jonas Guttierrez (From winger to defensive midfielder)
  • Gabriel Obertan
  • Sylvain Marveaux
  • Yoan Gouffran (Not a left winger, in a 4-4-2 particularly)
  • Papiss Cisse
  • Luuk de Jong (Neutered by tactics & his own confidence)
  • Shola Ameobi
  • Hatem Ben Arfa (Tragedy)

 

Even if we remove the players who haven't necessarily been "Pardewed", Shola, Obertan etcetera, there's still a disproportionate amount of players who have either maintained their ability or declined since their arrival here in my opinion. The common throughput is Pardew and the toxic nature of our coaching. I fear for Campbell, Armstrong and many other young players who have shown some amount of potential.

 

Clearly this is subjective but I fancied wasting 15 minutes of my day. Thoughts ladies & gentlemen, agree, disagree, am I an idiot?

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Guest Dontooner

Expect nothing less from a crap manager, Messi would look fairly average under this guy, might not even play due to his height.

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Obertan never declined.  He barely got out of bed.  Shit signing by shithead.

 

Sold a useful player in Routlage and bought a complete fuckin lemon for more money.

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Could argue that Cheick did get a lot worse before being decent again, and Sissoko certainly isn't as effective as he was in the first two games he played. Also, how has Sammy improved?

 

I'd say Sammy is a natural progression for a youth player, he's better now than he was 3 years ago, physically and somewhat technically too.

 

Agree about Cheick, he's been up and down and then up again over the last three seasons.

 

Sissoko, he's about where he was at Toulouse/France before he joined, though playing on the right-wing isn't exactly helping him.

 

Obertan never declined.  He barely got out of bed.  s*** signing by shithead.

 

Sold a useful player in Routlage and bought a complete fuckin lemon for more money.

 

Agree to an extent, though Obertan had a smidge of potential at Bordeaux and even Man U before he became the monstrosity he is with us.

 

I'd like to add if you wanted some further improvements beyond our current squad, you could argue for Simpson, Perch, Ba and Cabaye. I'm not suggesting Pardew has a hand in any/all of them by the way, but they improved during their time here I'd say.

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Pardew's ideal (realistic) team would be something like this -

 

                Krul

 

Debuchy Willo Colo Dummet

Sissoko Noble Tiote Jonas

          Gouffran Carroll

 

 

 

He has already loaned out Jonas and hasn't played Gouffran upfront even when we have really struggled for centre forward.

 

Stick Gouffran in for Jonas and an extra man in midfield.

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Could argue that Cheick did get a lot worse before being decent again, and Sissoko certainly isn't as effective as he was in the first two games he played. Also, how has Sammy improved?

 

I'd say Sammy is a natural progression for a youth player, he's better now than he was 3 years ago, physically and somewhat technically too.

 

Agree about Cheick, he's been up and down and then up again over the last three seasons.

 

Sissoko, he's about where he was at Toulouse/France before he joined, though playing on the right-wing isn't exactly helping him.

 

Obertan never declined.  He barely got out of bed.  s*** signing by shithead.

 

Sold a useful player in Routlage and bought a complete fuckin lemon for more money.

 

Agree to an extent, though Obertan had a smidge of potential at Bordeaux and even Man U before he became the monstrosity he is with us.

 

I'd like to add if you wanted some further improvements beyond our current squad, you could argue for Simpson, Perch, Ba and Cabaye. I'm not suggesting Pardew has a hand in any/all of them by the way, but they improved during their time here I'd say.

 

Cabaye  was playing in france and  he did make it to the champs league with a so called smaller club...so he was no mug before he arrived.  Ba, had already proven himself to be a good striker at West Ham.  Perch, maybe and Simpson maybe.

 

 

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I would say Ben Arfa, Tiote, Cisse, Krul, Steven Taylor have all gone backwards.

 

Williamson is improved this season. I don't know whether gone backwards or about right level for Sissoko, Gouffran, Mbiwa but one thing is for sure, the tactics are making majority of our players look totally clueless.

 

Even when you watch the worst teams in the league play such as Fulham, Scum and Cardiff they can still put pressure on the opposition, retain the ball to a degree, create chances, find space to play into etc.

 

When we play we struggle to create any chances most the time, seem to always be crowded, pick the wrong passes time and time again, don't seem to pressure the opposition. I reckon a lot of it is down to our lack of clever movement. We are static or behind the play far too much, when say Sissoko is bombing on with the ball the rest are just jogging or remain static rather than busting a gut to get into the box or take a defender away, this means we never have space and ultimately lose the ball. Pound for Pound we are the worst team in the league to watch in just about every game. We just don't seem to do much ever 

 

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