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If You Owned The Club, What Would You Do?


Guest snoopythewriter

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Guest snoopythewriter

Let's just say you're a billionaire and you bought out Ashley. The club is now yours. What would you do, realistically, in your first year in charge?

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(a) Sack everyone

(b) Hire David Pleat as Director of Football

© Hire Peter Ridsdale as Director of Finance

(d) Hire Glenn Hoddle as Director of Faith

(e) Appoint Steven Taylor as Player-Manager

 

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- Knob the best looking female fans

- Sack Pardew and Joe

- Call Simon Bird a cunt

- Continue to ban Ryder for being retarded

- Buy some players without selling

- Employ a half likeable manager

- Cancel Sholas contract to avoid manager temptation (Cancelled by employing decent manager anyway)

- Sack all turnstyle staff in east stand and make it quicker, also ban retarded fans who struggle with concept of smart cards

- Reduce price of pints and replace Carling with Stella, Duval, Peroni or Moretti

 

I would probably get round to other stuff but it's a start

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Guest elbee909

Invest heavily in local youth football across the region.  There'd be Newcastle Utd sponsored kids leagues as far as the eye could see.

 

That phrase doesn't really work there but you get my meaning.

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Guest VanBarduck

Rebuild the academy from scratch.

Recruit some of Southampton and Lyon youth systems coaches.

Sack Pardew, his staff and Joe Kinnear.

Hire Nicolas Cortese.

Hire Lucien Favre

Hire Borussia Dortmund assistant coach, I can't recall his name, but his training sessions are mental !

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