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They're starting with the made up stories about Newcastle fans getting battered by MLFs over in Germany now [emoji38]

 

Honestly there's not another fanbase remotely like that lot out there!

 

 

Edited by Wallsendmag

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11 minutes ago, Wallsendmag said:

They're starting with the made up stories about Newcastle fans getting battered by MLFs over in Germany now [emoji38]

 

Honestly there's not another fanbase remotely like that pot out there!


Absolutely laughable. 'My mate who is there rang me to say .....". Bit like the mag at work, and creating a Facebook page to try and put the seagull shagger as a Newcastle fan. I've never seen a fan base (or anyone actually) who make up the amount of lies that they do. Thing is they then start believing their own lies, weird cunts.

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In over 40 years of travelling abroad or around the country I like to think I’ve got on well with every single fan I’ve interacted with… yet according to the fools on RTG, I shouldn’t step foot out the house as everyone now hates me apparently… 

At least the behaviour is consistent.. one idiot posts something and then the usual suspects lump on with some made up story about a mag at work or mag relative or mag at airport or mag in full kit or mag in mag top over in Germany… or god forbid, Whitburn…

It really does beggar belief how unhinged they are… do they run university courses on weird, obsessive mackam behaviour.. 

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22 minutes ago, llcoolc157 said:

In over 40 years of travelling abroad or around the country I like to think I’ve got on well with every single fan I’ve interacted with… yet according to the fools on RTG, I shouldn’t step foot out the house as everyone now hates me apparently… 

At least the behaviour is consistent.. one idiot posts something and then the usual suspects lump on with some made up story about a mag at work or mag relative or mag at airport or mag in full kit or mag in mag top over in Germany… or god forbid, Whitburn…

It really does beggar belief how unhinged they are… do they run university courses on weird, obsessive mackam behaviour.. 

I've got to 54 without anyone attacking me because I'm a gravy stained mag. I must be one of the lucky ones 

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On 16/06/2024 at 21:18, Monkey Alan said:

 

Hope not. I'm hoping his 4th literary instalment is on the way now that his Saturdays are free. 

 

Detective-Football Manager, Steve Barnes, learns of a Saudi terror plan to blow up the stadium of his boyhood club on matchday. But does he owe it to the fans to thwart the deadly plot after the way they treated him? In a battle between heart and head, the seasoned gaffa is forced to make his most difficult decision yet!

 

 

 

Excerpt from that latest modern classic:

 

’I was about to put the keys in the Jag.  It’s the latest F-Type R75 Coupe.  The model with Metal treadplates with Limited Edition branding.  It is everything you’d ever want in a car.  I suddenly thought about how this desirable car could be used against a top football manager by those terrorists.  So I got out and looked behind the wheels; they are the 20" Style 1066, Diamond Turned with Gloss Black contrast which go towards making this car such a favourite of successful business and entertainment people.  And that’s when I saw the flashing light of the car bomb.  I thanked my instincts and - quick as a flash - used the tweezers that my attractive younger wife bought me for my birthday last week to cut the yellow wire.  I knew about the yellow wire on car bombs from when I was top of the class in O-Level electronics.’

 

 

Edited by TheBrownBottle

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40 minutes ago, TheBrownBottle said:

Excerpt from that latest modern classic:

 

’I was about to put the keys in the Jag.  It’s the latest F-Type R75 Coupe.  The model with Metal treadplates with Limited Edition branding.  It is everything you’d ever want in a car.  I suddenly thought about how this desirable car could be used against a top football manager by those terrorists.  So I got out and looked behind the wheels; they are the 20" Style 1066, Diamond Turned with Gloss Black contrast which go towards making this car such a favourite of successful business and entertainment people.  And that’s when I saw the flashing light of the car bomb.  I thanked my instincts and - quick as a flash - used the tweezers that my attractive younger wife bought me for my birthday last week to cut the yellow wire.  I knew about the yellow wire on car bombs from when I was top of the class in O-Level electronics.’

 

 

 

That's parody, yeah? Please god 

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Just now, Groundhog63 said:

That's parody, yeah? Please god 

:)

 

It is - though anyone who read any of the Steve Bruce novels (I did many moons ago - picked them up for next to nowt for a laugh - wish I’d kept them as I think they sell for a few bob these days) will hopefully think I’ve done a reasonable job of capturing the quiddities of Bruce’s unique writing style

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1 hour ago, TheBrownBottle said:

Excerpt from that latest modern classic:

 

’I was about to put the keys in the Jag.  It’s the latest F-Type R75 Coupe.  The model with Metal treadplates with Limited Edition branding.  It is everything you’d ever want in a car.  I suddenly thought about how this desirable car could be used against a top football manager by those terrorists.  So I got out and looked behind the wheels; they are the 20" Style 1066, Diamond Turned with Gloss Black contrast which go towards making this car such a favourite of successful business and entertainment people.  And that’s when I saw the flashing light of the car bomb.  I thanked my instincts and - quick as a flash - used the tweezers that my attractive younger wife bought me for my birthday last week to cut the yellow wire.  I knew about the yellow wire on car bombs from when I was top of the class in O-Level electronics.’

 

 

 

And then the back end slipped out, I caught it with a dab of oppo and I was away....

 

Straight from sniffpetrol.com

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42 minutes ago, TheBrownBottle said:

For those who’ve never had the pleasure, a couple of reviews with top excerpts from the Bruce novels:

 

https://www.balls.ie/football/steve-bruce-novel-293169

 

https://thesetpieces.com/latest-posts/sweeper-steve-bruce-review/

Fucking helI had no idea about this! It’s absolutely prime Alan Partridge 🤣

 

 

Edited by LordJake

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3 hours ago, LordJake said:

Fucking helI had no idea about this! It’s absolutely prime Alan Partridge 🤣

 

 

 

Talksport did extracts from one of the books everyday during covid with some impersonator doing Bruce's voice, it was fantastic 

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Quite how anyone could take him seriously after that is beyond me [emoji38]

 

Read this a few years back just when he joined us and some of the writing in that takedown review still makes me howl with laughter (thanks for sharing again BB).

 

Whoever wrote that is a comic genius - I thought it must be someone like Armando Iannucci.

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13 hours ago, TheBrownBottle said:

Excerpt from that latest modern classic:

 

’I was about to put the keys in the Jag.  It’s the latest F-Type R75 Coupe.  The model with Metal treadplates with Limited Edition branding.  It is everything you’d ever want in a car.  I suddenly thought about how this desirable car could be used against a top football manager by those terrorists.  So I got out and looked behind the wheels; they are the 20" Style 1066, Diamond Turned with Gloss Black contrast which go towards making this car such a favourite of successful business and entertainment people.  And that’s when I saw the flashing light of the car bomb.  I thanked my instincts and - quick as a flash - used the tweezers that my attractive younger wife bought me for my birthday last week to cut the yellow wire.  I knew about the yellow wire on car bombs from when I was top of the class in O-Level electronics.’

 

 

 

 

As I kicked open the door to the detonator room, I saw none other than current Nulcaster manager, Teddy Howton, standing with both hands firmly on the device. I knew I had just seconds to act, so I leapt into action the only way I know how - with a crunching sliding tackle! Howton hit the floor with a dull thud, like the sound of a car going over a speed bump too quickly. Incidentally, the Jag's modern push-rod suspension design allows me to traverse even the largest speed bumps without needing to reduce my speed in any significant way. I looked down at Howton - coiled, crumpled, convulsing. He had already failed massively at Bronmouth, relegating them to the second tier, and now he had failed at industrial scale mass murder.

 

 

Edited by Monkey Alan

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30 minutes ago, Monkey Alan said:

 

As I kicked open the door to the detonator room, I saw none other than current Nulcaster manager, Teddy Howton, standing with both hands firmly on the device. I knew I had just seconds to act, so I leapt into action the only way I know how - with a crunching sliding tackle! Howton hit the floor with a dull thud, like the sound of a car going over a speed bump too quickly. Incidentally, the Jag's modern push-rod suspension design allows me to traverse even the largest speed bumps without needing to reduce my speed in any significant way. I looked down at Howton - coiled, crumpled, convulsing. He had already failed massively at Bronmouth, relegating them to the second tier, and now he had failed at industrial scale mass murder.

 

 

 

[emoji38]

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19 hours ago, Wallsendmag said:

They're starting with the made up stories about Newcastle fans getting battered by MLFs over in Germany now [emoji38]

 

Honestly there's not another fanbase remotely like that lot out there!

 

 

 

 

Battered by MILFs, I'm sure I watched that on Xhamster over the weekend.

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