Aphrodite

What the fuck was that

Ben Afra

GOALLLLL

Tahiti had a pass accuracy of 82% in that half, better than ours last season

No part of this saga makes even the tiniest iota of sense

Oh for fucks sake Going to get into bed, pull the sheets above my head and hibernate for a few months

That's the one- that was the entire statement as well Why are we such a circus

Was talking to a friend today about absurd Newcastle moments and it reminded of the "7 bells" statement we released after FFS was embroiled in some turmoil. Did I just make this up? Does anyone have the full statement if so? It had me creased at the time

Still shaking my head at this Who allowed this to happen? Who thought this seemed like a good idea? Joe fucking Kinnear

Joe Kinnear (hoofball)

(football)

The Far Corner by Harry Pearson

Love how he talked about the Europa League again in his post-match Let it go ffs

I've become convinced that Pardew being our manager and us being so shite at set penises are linked. As soon as we score one, he'll burst into flames and never be heard from again.

If he doesn't care about the Europa League, how come we put out such a shite side against Brighton? Or are we not trying for any cups now?

It's fine man, we've got Geordie Dancer back at half time

Followed by the announcer booming 'Ladies and gentlemen, the set penis'

Can you imagine if it was 0-4 after all this

fwiw, I think the Europa League comments are a billion times worse than the Arsenal ones. Shows a worrying lack of ambition or ability to keep things together.

Spurs fans are (rightly) getting rather p*ssed off. Imagine if Laudrup said the same before the Wigan game? Although he wouldn't cos he's not a fucking nugget.

He's been blaming the Europa League all season, and now is thanking god that we're not in it next year. Got to wonder what his ambition for the club is. Champions League or nothing

Genuinely flabbergasted by that Europa League quote- what's the aim for next season then, 8th/9th?

Have you noticed they've started calling them 'Key Moments' now

Anyone playing Pardew excuses bingo?

"Stupid system, with its three points for a win- you don't even get points for a set penis"