BlueStar

Who's Hitzlsperger being linked with, now he's been told he can leave West Ham? We have an opening for a naturally gifted 29 year old midfielder with some mobility and fitness issues.

Didn't he turn down £50k a week to stay at West Ham? What stupid figure have the Toffee's decided we're paying him?

Probably just an issue with a Geordie doctor. 'What's the result of the medical?' 'Nee problems'

Oh for fucks sake, I'm a best man on the day of the first home game. The wedding already clashes with the birthday of the other best man

Have we ever had a player easier to make up songs for? He's like the exact opposite of Danny Guthrie.

Sounds like a transcript of a cell phone video of the Swansea promotion party exclusively obtained by The Sun

I can imagine the final scene of an 80s horror film brummie's mum shaking him awake and telling him it was all just a horrible dream, and then pulling off a latex mask to reveal a cackling Alex McLeish

Do you remember, the day that we signed our Demba? What we'd seen he could do to defenders When he was playing West Brom away Our hearts were ringing We thought of a song to start singing. As we danced in the night, Remember when we finally saw him play Ahh-ahh-ahh Demba Ba - say do you remember Demba Ba - dancing round defenders Demba Ba - never even had to pay

Took 8 points from those two last year, scoring 11 goals in the process

Once there are out it's time to play the game of how long do I wait before applying for leave for the home games, balancing the fact that the longer I leave it the more likely leave for that day will be fully booked and the sooner I do it the more likely it is that Sky will rearrange and re-rearrage which games they're showing when.

I predict Man U in the first few fixtures and Chelsea in the last few.

I'm sorry, by WHO? No, it wasn't The Who.

Writes itself!

Three bags full /obvious.

Lacks spirit.

Just thought "Fuck it, what was the Barbar theme, must be something to work with there." Youtubed it and the theme music came flooding back http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBZ_PdwUqgg I... Have have something in my eye. I have to go.

Repeating the lad's name basically gives you the Pearl & Dean fanfare, so we should just use that. Ooooooh OOOOOHHHH DEM-BA DEM-BA DEM-BA DEM-BA DEMBA BA DEM-BA DEM-BA DEM-BA DEMBAAAAAA BA! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jG3m0YfVmk

You came and you gave us a bluenose, Why are you acting this way Oh, Randy! You made me so mad I'm still shaking... Little work and they could have something better to sing on those steps.

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11661_6991787,00.html http://img864.imageshack.us/img864/15/captureijg.jpg When do you start?

All the best. Wish he'd given us another season but I wouldn't want to have him on the wage bill in 2016 still, so if West Ham consider its worth spending 16 million on giving him a retirement paycheck we can't be expected to match it.

He must be shit cos he came to us What should our transfer policy be then, follow players until they agree to sign and then tell them they're obviously not good enough and to fuck off until they're willing to turn us down for a better team?

Who's our captain next season then, if we're shipping out our captain and vice captain?

First page "Haha, no-one's going to bite" 6 pages of bites later...

I knew it'd be the magedia!