Sima

Some sexual play this like.

Fucking hell, what a shot.

Sissoko and Cabaye to be removed for Willo and MYM

GET IN DAT BALL FROM SISSOKO

SET PENIS TO THE EDGE OF THE BOX!

Effort.

I have no idea what this means

Every single time he gives possession away.

5 yard pass out of play. He's shit.

Cabaye aiming for Williamson.

This co-commentator obviously hasn't seen our corners.

Fuck this shit, get Shola on.

Shola's beard

N'Zogbia's squeal

Holy shit.

Sissoko

COME THE FUCK ON

That formation...Cisse on the right

Fuck me. My mum actually is bipolar, and she has nothing on this board. Safety wink needed?

All pre-match excitement eradicated.

Jonas to play the full 90 and then another 90 after that.

Gutierrez ANG-FUCKING-GUISH

Well? WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?

Pardew out.