Elric

Surely everyone playing the game has Mahrez by now? You'd think so, surprisingly quite a few people in one league I'm in don't have him

47 With Mahrez left to play, Bellerin an auto-sub due to smalling being out. Hopefully Mahrez goes mental against Chelsea Probably me being suckered by recent form; chucked Wijnaldum in against Villa, I'm hopeful we'll do them.

Glad I have Benteke as vice-captain, Coutinho looking increasingly unlikely to play now. Now watch Benteke get benched

Coutinho trained before Southampton, apparently, but Klopp didn't want to risk him. Meant to be a very good chance of him playing on Saturday, gonna keep him as captain, like.

Voted yes. The mass clear-out needed will be a long and brutal exercise, might as well get it started sooner rather than later.

Captaining Coutinho this week, anyone with any hint of flair seems to rip us apart these days. Brought in Clyne and Benteke as well, taking the points hit, probably be made up by the raping 'pool are gonna dish out

0-6 Two a piece from Coutinho and Benteke, one from Sturridge and one from that Mackem cunt Henderson

27 points isn't bad tbf Better than that shit-eating frail cunt Aguero

Fuck it, triple-captained Vardy. Fill your boots, you horrible cunt.

Brought Hazard back as captain, might whack Remy in too, could be a cricket score

21 with Mahrez and Cisse to play. Just have to hope we batter West Ham now

Really? Surely thats the same for any team that buys more than one player. Gooner Cunt! Not too many associated with Arsenal who aren't cunts, tbh.

Yup, half a step forward, two steps back. This fuckin' club, man.

More than that he's an idiot. A ticking time bomb waiting to explode on the field. Think he tried to handle that Hernandez shot which Krul saved, for instance. I thought that at the time, fucking knacker

Desperately need Aguero to score to salvage anything from another train wreck of a week.

Whacked Ayew in the team, what with Swansea playing the mackems. Tempted to hoy Gomis in there as well and take the 4-point hit, guarantee those cunts would win just to spite me though.

Captained Aguero this week, so I await his own-goal hattrick before being sent off

22 points. Wildcard played

17 with 2 to play Fuck this week.

Already regretting having Depay and Rooney in like :-/ Must not panic... must not panic...

his batter became flavourless a few years ago tbh

"If you don’t follow your full-back again I’ll come and beat you up, understand?” Please, please chin Williamson.