Shak

KAAABRAAHHHHH!!!! I want each and every one of his children.

Cisse's been poor like.

You've been sitting on the Yaoward Webb for two hours, well played in the end.

Sissouffran!!

Happens every fucking game man.

Have to wonder what's going on at half time like. Does he make snuff movies with kids and screen them at half time in the dressing room or something?

This is gay. Shola incoming.

You just know Pardew hasn't a fucking clue what to do.

Ah fuck off.

Delighted for him. Still think he's more or less shite like, certainly out wide in a front three... but he's a top guy.

These American pundits are fantastic.

We've dominated this physically, Mata and Oscar have hardly touched the ball. If we keep going at them I don't think they'll fancy it. If we try and sit off and invite them into the game I reckon it'll be tough to hold out. Come on Pardew, send them out fucking prepared for once.

Shame he got kicked full force in the face, really is.

Right, cracking first half. We've been positive and more or less bossed it, fully deserving our lead. Ladies and gentlemen... Prepare your anus http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/12/31/article-2255488-16B48654000005DC-136_634x502.jpg

Carroll came on to the field and shaved points, played shit and kinda cried. Ba played hard until Colo kicked fuck out of his face. In terms of end result though? Ba got kicked as hard as possible by a professional footballer... right in the face. Think I'd take the humiliation.

Worse than Carroll last year?

Jonas scoring.

Good save, but Cisse may as well have looked at Cech and said "I'm placing it to your left mate" with the way he shaped to shoot. Can't make it that obvious.

Terrible finish. Fuck.

Fuck off Webb you bottling cuntmobile.

The inevitable Marveaux for Gouff sub is going to be epic.

Fuck off Jonas you completely useless waste of a shirt.

Jonas. Guy's laughable.

Very good so far.

It's a shit thing. Play your best players*. Aye, didn't say I liked it. Just not surprised. Same with Raylor and Santon last year. Raylor had to basically go out and puke on his own face before Pardew dropped him. Ben Arfa and Obertan too.