Shak

Joelinton not having a great one Good start to the half though.

Christ, always forget how boring Man City are. I mean, you have to respect the way they pull it off because it's so hard to do... but fuck me is it dull Anyway, don't think we've been bad. Plan was clearly to contain and they'd not had really much of a sniff until they scored and even that was just a half chance. We have a few players that stand out like a sore thumb in terms of their level of comfort on the ball when up against a team like City. Big Joe and Burn are a couple of weak links in terms of attempting to play possession football. Hope we give it a good go in the second half, go at them.

Wouldn't be an issue if there was any atmosphere at all in the stadium.

Aye, came from a throw in where Botman just passed it out of play under no pressure at all.

Thought he could have saved that.

Schar feigning injury so we sign a RCB in the coming weeks.

God this interviewer with Onana is shite.

First keeper jersey I ever got. Went to get 'HISLOP' printed on the back. Fucking place was out of the letter P. Older brother suggested getting his first name on there instead. And here we are

Current mood... Get into these cunts.

We'd have totally banged by the end of the night.

You surprised by the start? Like, I know they need a couple more additions ideally but it's a pretty established group of players they have there and I expected Ten Haag would have them playing with a bit more energy and purpose than we've seen so far.

Must say I'm delighted that Ten Haag has them looking so clueless. Have had this sneaking worry that he might be the one to lead them back to being an established title challenger but they've looked completely directionless and shite so far this season, gives me hope.

I always hope for a draw when two of our rivals play each other. Makes sense to me

Think the most likely scenario for him and Diaby is that we were genuinely interested in them but over time other targets became available. Also, as he's been here longer, Howe's vision for the team is likely to have evolved which means that there may not be a need for a player like Maddison anymore.

He's been really good IMO.

Very annoying in the short term but I think it'll be better in the long run. It's not hard to show a reasonable level of respect to an official, players will catch on soon and we'll have very few yellows for it and less cuntery.

Surely made more sense to sign a proper CM and play Fernandes there? Have Eriksen in that position too for depth, really weird signing Mount.

Why were all those players yelling at Son? There was no pass on to any of them

Isak is miles better than him though, so there's that.

A part of this signing that I really like is his apparent ability to play the LCM position if needed. I've been hoping we'd bring in another winger but the fact that Hall can play LCM means more flexibility to push Joelinton forward into a wide role if needed. If our business is done this summer I could see us being able to go big on a CB and winger next summer as we look quite deep elsewhere.

I'm always encouraging encouraging my Brazilian students to get out there and start shagging and having babies with Irish people, no sign of any results yet in terms of talented football prospects. That said, they're not sending their best and fastest-footed. Went to the park for a kickabout a month or two ago and all the Brazilians were completely shite.

Most of our most talented young athletes end up playing hurling or GAA, is my theory. Be great if we get a decent generation coming through, moreso if a few of them are at Newcastle too.

Bruno didn't screw Quet. Quet screwed Quet.

Send some Man U employees around to his ex-wife's gaff to beat her up. Then ask for public feedback on the move.