Ashley17

This guy up front, is it pronounced Pell-a? Or just simply "Pell" as Lowes is calling him. Because Pell sounds stupid.

Great start

It's his job

sackpardew.com with the same picture they're using on the site.

Shane Long has only ever scored more than 1 goal in a game once.

Good effort from whoever is running this, sackpardew.com banners in the ground. Fair play

What's wrong with that? The point of the cap is to stop the sun from going into your eyes so to wear the cap backwards and wear sunglasses makes no sense Couldn't he be wearing the cap to protect his neck and the glasses to protect his eyes? To protect his neck from what? The sun? It's September. In England.

Lowes & Anderson just argued that if we'd beaten Villa and Palace everybody would be happier. Well fucking obviously.

Nasri last minute winner at the Emirates would have provoked a polite riot

dat marking

He's injured. Hilariously Dummett was due to start but has an injury

Nasri hasn't even been away for Internationals though

I've gone for Di Maria over Ramsey, just whilst Ramsey's fixtures aren't the best. Having said that, seeign what he's up against today I regret it already

Milner over Nasri. Say what?

That Fret! God that's grim Pretty much the starting side I would say except for Haidara. Yeah logically Haidara would start but we conceded 3 last time out and Pardew loves swapping left backs

Krul Janmaat Dummett Williamson Colo Anita Colback Sissoko Cabella Gouffran Riviere Subs: Elliot, Haidara, Taylor, Abeid, Obertan, Ayoze, Tiote Roster is full ffs

Ashley's entire philosophy, as we've seen with our transfer policy, is to buy players when their value is lower than their true value. That is why Rangers is such an attractive proposition to him, they're on the verge of administration again so he can buy for peanuts and there's every chance he can sell for far more in 5-10 years.

Whip round?

Catch up with the 2 England games next then. Spoiler: he started neither.

Elliot is rubbish but he probably realises if he can get a game somewhere he has every chance of being Ireland's number 1. He's up against Given, who's older than time, Westwood & Forde who are very average and probably some other crud. He made some unbelievable saves down at Southampton when we got turned over 4-0 but he's also an embarrassing fat mess so swings and roundabouts

You could say he's gone up a notch since moving to real leagues

Equaliser out of nothing for Georgia, great hit

You've been solid if unspectacular. Georgia have been awful, Ketsbaia has them playing some 3-5-2 shite and it's really not working.

It never happened, think "Rene Mul" meant "Pepe Mel" but who knows

Just prolongs Gouffran being in the team and means he can play Tiote and Colback. Fuck sake.