Ashley17

It's him or Mame Diouf, assuming Crouch is to be shown the door. Odemwingie/Arnautovic either side (Assaidi doesn't seem keen on going back), then some horrific combination of 3 of Sidwell, Adam, N'Zonzi & Ireland. Also Whelan, Palacios and Walters hanging around for some horrific options.

I can't pick an 11 from Stoke, they've got loads of players who are very similar in ability.

Incidentally their home/away fixtures dovetail perfectly with Swansea's

Banking on Cameron or Begovic moving or just got a hard on for Stoke?

Toure took lots of pens last year when Aguero was knackered. If Aguero is back he won't score as many

Pitch needs time to recover after summer concerts

Really fancy Liverpool to twat Southampton on opening weekend but there's only Sterling I'd consider, however Arsenal, Chelsea, Man Utd and Man City all have better starting fixtures over the first few games. Tough calls this year

Celtic on TV?

Why is he often only referred to as "the playmaker" by journalists?

Aarons and Obertan about to come on

How predictable! He did it several times in the morning warm up tbh Morning warm up? You shagging Gouffran?

Wouldn't bother with Mirallas, Everton's start is tricky and he's been hit and miss in terms of points

Nearly forgot this was happening - couldn't even see a thread. Think we're possibly playing too many games this pre-season..

Di Canio seemed to revive Johnson, seem to remember him being turboshit for a long time and then Di Canio came in and whilst everybody else was pissed off with him, Johnson seemed to embrace it and might have even been captain for a game or two? Or is that all a lie I've made up?

Stoke aren't offering him what he wants so it's blatantly the agent trying to drum up interest

I mentioned this in the Schalke aftermath, as it terrifies me. Here is where it originates: http://www.nufc.co.uk/articles/20140726/pardews-praise-for-young-stars_2281670_4036292 In that game, De Jong played in basically a free role, with Colback, Abeid & Gouffran as a central three. I don't know why that requires a third centre half though - at a guess, it will allow de Jong & Cabella (akin to Robben & Sneijder's roles in the Dutch team) to roam off a striker with the extra protection of a third centre back, but it is stupid and it hopefully never sees the light of day

Strange one from Man City considering they need all of the HG players they can get. Probably explains Lampard's arrival

Probably because he's being shoe horned into all sorts of roles during the games so far, he's had relatively few minutes in CM compared to Colback

Sammy was our player of the tournament over in Portugal a couple of pre-seasons ago, it's encouraging but probably won't amount to much because this is us

Too true. With him and this bloody 4231 you're either a defensive anchor or you're a number 10. If you're naturally something in between, like Sissoko, you're on the wing or off a striker as a target man. Abeid will have this issue too

Are we talking realistically or anything? We'll all pick HBA but I doubt we'll ever see him again

We look decent on the break, problem is we need to be ahead before teams will over commit as Schalke did today. Can see our home and away tallies being similar to last season, that is of course unless De Jong or one of the forwards is shit hot from the outset. Williamson still holds the defence together, which is utterly pathetic but he does. He's really limited but surely even Pardew can see Steven Taylor's presence nearly always leads to a problem. I saw one post yesterday saying Pardew was an idiot for playing Abeid because he won't pick him when we get to the real games. Pardew has many faults but I don't see how he can be criticised for having a proper look at somebody who has been away for a year. He must have one of the highest number of minutes from all the friendlies and I think that's fair enough really. He's done well without being spectacular and I doubt he'll get more than 5 appearances this coming season, if he stays. Haidara is much better than Dummett. Gouffran is basically the 12th man now, he has no identity anymore and will fill in wherever. It's a waste in some ways but encouraging that we have somebody like this not in our best 11 The new lads look decent, doubt Ferrerya will be up to much simply because of the records of many of his fellow country men but that's probably because they aren't very good rather than some curse on Argentinians. Aguero and Tevez aside of course. It keeps nagging me that Pardew goes on about 3-5-2 and how it is based around getting the most out of De Jong. We should stay well clear of this no matter what Van Gaal is trying, but you just know we will see it at some point. I imagine it'll have De Jong in the 'Robben' role basically a free roaming striker, Cabella as the 10 (Sneijder) and Tiote/Sissoko in the middle, but that's just me speculating and I hope it never sees the light of day. Aarons is a breath of fresh air and Obertan was surprisingly useful, I noticed him getting his head up at the byline and picking a pass out instead of being shite. Physically, he has everything in place but obviously lacks a footballing brain to make it all click. I look forward to him ripping some league 1 team apart in the League Cup 2nd round before being booed on in a league match by November. Aarons should get his minutes. Finally it was a top header from Riviere but I doubt he can do it consistently. Who knows though, under this idiot there's nearly always 1 striker in form, look at Leon Best ffs. Stranger things have happened

Brummie said about 3 days ago "he isn't even that good" but is amazing compared to the others they have

Scott Sinclair

City vs Olympiacos is going to pens if I've understood the fine people at Abu Dhabi sports