Taylor Swift

I hope he signs because he's young, has potential and we're not exactly deep at that position for the long-term. I think he still has it in him to become a mainstay at the back for us. He's got it all physically - decent pace, strong, good header of the ball - but it's just the mental part of the game that he's not sorted out yet, but I have a feeling that watching how our team has evolved in the past 8 months with him out of the team will provide him with a new perspective.

That means no more Smith in the starting eleven

I can understand more of what Hangeland is saying that I can that Stockdale kid

There must be a few zeros added to his value after today. You can say what you like about his general play but those goals were quality. Chelsea were linked with a £7m bid for him in the summer. I think £700m is a bit much.

Giggs should have taken the penalty.

Etuhu looks like an excellent player; good control, strong, has some pace, decent tackling and marking. If Tiote is anything like him, our midfield will be much improved.

Give the kids a chance. Next Saturday is a far more important match.

Dive from the prospective PotY.

Get in, 1-1.

His tactics since January have been almost always spot on.

We're quite good with set pieces. Must be the first time we've been good at set pieces since before SBR's time because I remember us always getting bullied at them with the midgets we had in our team then.

I agree. When Nolan scores, he contributes. When he doesn't score, he's pretty much invisible. I think we'd be much better off if someone like Ben Arfa came in and improved our overall team play since that'll contribute to us creating more chances and controlling more of the ball.

The irony

Fantastic double save from VdS.

Nice hit.

Shearer probably had a cheeky bet on a Carroll hat-trick.

Massive credit to Barton for controlling the pace of the game to our liking, keeping possession well and not allowing Villa to counter-attack us to fuck.

Ratings then Harper - 6: Had fuck all to do except kick and yet he still messed up a couple of times. Enrique - 9: Young and Albrighton were owned by Jose. Owned. Williamson - 8: Calm, composed. Colo - 8: Calm, composed. Perch - 8: Defended well, would like to see him overlap and help Routledge out more. Jonas - 8.5: Tracked back, won the ball, held the ball well and was a good outlet. Barton - 9: Pimp. Ran the show, bitches. Smith - 7.5: He's still shite, man He defended all right but his passing is so limited Routledge - 8.5: Great outlet for our counter-attacks. Nolan - 8.5: Didn't start too well but got involved and scored two nice, typical Nolan goals. Well played. I'm eating some humble pie right now. Carroll - 10: MotM. He's going to get 15 in this league. The thing that impressed me the most is that all three of his goals came from his feet, which shows how quickly he's improving. We all know that he's going to score with his head, but if he starts knocking them in with his feet then he'll be a superb player.

We have a striker on our hands. Oh yes we fucking do.

HATTRICK!

NOLAN

Well played, Jonas. Good game from him.

Taylor looks so disappointed to be coming on.

Taylor and Ameobi coming on.

Time to send on some subs.