Taylor Swift

This cunt is going to get a testimonial. Edit: johnny's 40 seconds faster

He says the medical staff has seen him so I presume he wants Martins to explain how the injury happened.

This is the way we've played the entire season. So, I ask you, what is the best thing for a team that has not one player that can pick out a past, not one winger that can deliver an awesome cross and a team that's sorely lacking the pace that's needed to rip teams apart and create easy chances? Do you still want Owen playing, jogging around the pitch trying to steal a goal which hasn't looked coming for what, 2 months? Or do you drop him because, however good his finishing is, he just doesn't fit in with the personnel available? We don't create the chances that Owen feeds off. We really don't create any chances, so what I'm saying is drop Owen, put someone in who will contribute to the 'team play', something that Owen apparently doesn't acknowledge this season, and make sure the team plays better because that's the only way the team will be able to get the points needed to survive. Look, one of the truest cliches in football is that if you don't lose the ball, the opposition can't score. So, we need to keep the ball better. Owen doesn't help us do that. We are effectively a 10 man team every minute he's on the pitch. That's why we can't keep possession, that's why we don't stretch teams and because of the constant pressure that our defence is under because the whole team can't keep possession, we conceded more than our fair share of silly goals. Owen is very very unselfish, and he keeps possession (or well, keeps up the ball and wins it back) better than almost any other on our team. Though if another front two could do better, I'd not be against dropping Owen. It's just, as ElDiablo said, who's to step up? By the phrase 'team play', I mean that the team is better when the player is on the pitch. I think we're worse when Owen's on, even if you include his alleged finishing ability - something we haven't actually seen for half the season. I think Owen lacks dynamism - a poncy way of saying he's very one-dimensional. I think he's slow. Well, maybe he's not slow, but he doesn't possess any other attributes that can mask this weakness of pace. He's not strong, so if he's in a race with a similarly-paced defender, he's going to lose out every single time. He's short, so launching long balls up at him won't work. And if you launch balls into space for him to chase, well, he's average-paced so he's going to get muscled off the ball more times than not by the average Premiership defender. Just look at the defenders he's been totally shut down by this season; the list certainly isn't the who's-who's of the best defenders, is it? So the only way that you can include him in the attack is either by making him the end point ('the finisher') but that implies that you actually have to be able to create chances with all the other players on the pitch - something that we've blatantly shown that we're incapable of. Or, we fire the ball into his feet, which means that his back is constantly to goal - not the way he's been playing for his whole career - and that he's only ever useful if we play this way. So again, he's one-dimensional. If we can play a striker with pace and the ability to receive the ball, this striker, whoever it is, is already more useful than Owen is for our team. I think Owen is a severely limited striker and we can't afford to accommodate him in the team anymore. We need 11 players whose strengths limit each other's weaknesses and make us a better team. Owen's finishing may (and I contest this anyway) be world-class and his movement may be fucking awesome (something I agree with) but the rest of the team just don't play to these strengths and therefore we suffer whenever he's on the pitch.

What a fucking header. The ball was a lazily lofted ball from Duff which actually deflected off a Stoke defender but this bad boy sure got his head on it.

This is the way we've played the entire season. So, I ask you, what is the best thing for a team that has not one player that can pick out a past, not one winger that can deliver an awesome cross and a team that's sorely lacking the pace that's needed to rip teams apart and create easy chances? Do you still want Owen playing, jogging around the pitch trying to steal a goal which hasn't looked coming for what, 2 months? Or do you drop him because, however good his finishing is, he just doesn't fit in with the personnel available? We don't create the chances that Owen feeds off. We really don't create any chances, so what I'm saying is drop Owen, put someone in who will contribute to the 'team play', something that Owen apparently doesn't acknowledge this season, and make sure the team plays better because that's the only way the team will be able to get the points needed to survive. Look, one of the truest cliches in football is that if you don't lose the ball, the opposition can't score. So, we need to keep the ball better. Owen doesn't help us do that. We are effectively a 10 man team every minute he's on the pitch. That's why we can't keep possession, that's why we don't stretch teams and because of the constant pressure that our defence is under because the whole team can't keep possession, we conceded more than our fair share of silly goals.

What? The stats were 60%+ for Stoke in the first half so we'd had to have something like 90% in the second half to make that 62% true. I think after 80 minutes, they had had 55% of the possession so I'm guessing it ended around there.

Terry Venables more like. I'm referring to the 3-5-2 but it's quite worrying that he's been chatting to those managers anyway.

Owen is quality. Shola is not. Owen and Carroll is quality. Owen and Shola is not. Owen and Martins is not. There. I know you've got something against Oba but what has Owen done in let's say like last 15 games to convince you he should be starting? He's been pure shit. Top earner of the team and captain...maybe he should be performing just a bit better? How many times do I have to say that Owen needs to be provided with chances, he's not fast enough anymore to make them himself. And that if given the chances, he scores. Which our other strikers don't. And I don't have something against Oba especially, I just don't want shite playing for us. It's the same with Butt and Ameobi and so on. so is our midfield magically going to learn to give him chance's??? NO so don't play him and give someone who's at least mobile, can win headers and keep a hold of the ball A striker like Carroll is a provider as he's good in the air and can pick down balls for Owen. Owen is our best striker, and should be played at any time when fit. Only reason people here have something against Owen is because he's paid too much, which is fair enough. But he's still our greatest hope if we are looking to score those vital goals. Plus, with Barton back we could play a Barton - Guthire midfield, which would be an improvement on balls going forward, and not sideways or backwards. Owen is our best striker? On what basis do you make this claim? Should he be partnered with Leo Messi before everyone will realise that he's slow, weak and shit?

Was just about to say the same thing. What was learned from this game could be as big as what KK learned from the Birmingham game. Shola should sit the rest of the season out. I think Taylor also seems to be taking a bit of time to adjust. was a steep learning curve for Al today, but the way in which we finished the match is a good sign for the next fixture What? What did we learn today that we didn't know before? That Jonas is needed for the team to look like they have any sort of attacking potency? That Owen is slow? That Ameobi is shite? That Beye is a god? That Butt and Nolan don't work in center midfield? What, in all honesty, did Shearer learn today that he couldn't have learnt from watching us week in week out for the past 30 matches? I thought he had used his critical faculties on the BBC and figured out why we're so shit but apparently not. I don't mean this at you personally, johnny. I'm just infuriated by the fact that Shearer's made the same mistakes as Hughton and Kinnear have made and the thing is, Shearer's been watching these mistakes being made for the whole fucking season, so why did he start with the players and formation that he did and why did he wait so long to change things around? It's definitely two points lost, not one point won, in my opinion.

Was Shearer fucking high? Starts Ameobi, who's been shite for about his whole life. Why can't our managers realise that he's fucking shite? He's horrible. He can't head. He can't pass. He sure as fuck can't hold up the ball. He can't even fucking run. When was the last time he actually had a shot? Fucking hell. Hey, you wanna know which other striker never shoots? Say hello to Michael Owen. You're shit, Michael. You're slow, you're weak and you got pwned by Faye all day. You ran because your best buddy's the manager but all this shows is that you hadn't given a fuck for 29 games + the past 2 seasons. So fuck off, you little cunt. And what the fuck was with the Guthrie substitution? Yeah, why not sub out the best passer in our team and leave the useless fucking cunts - namely Nolan and Butt - on to help us win the match. We were fucking pathetic in the first half with that hybrid 3-5-2. Shearer needs to cut out his late nights to Glenn Hoddle because it probably cost us maximum points today. I just don't know if the players understand the situation that we're in. They showed fuck all urgency in the first half; just dallying about, launching long balls to Ameobi, committing dumb fouls in our own half and not keeping the ball like a team that needs to do does so. It's infuriating how most of them look like they don't give a fuck. With the exception of Beye, Carroll and Jonas, none of them really seem like they give a fuck. Even someone like Bassong, who put in a decent performance, has the body language of someone who's comfortable whatever happens. Same with Nolan, R Taylor, local lad made good Shola and Butt. Why is Owen captain? When a dodgy decision goes against us, he's supposed to get in the ref's face and tell him to make the right decision next time. He's supposed to represent his teammates and the club. He does absolutely nothing to merit the captaincy; jogs around the pitch, never puts in a tackle (but maybe that's because he's never actually near enough to a defender to put one in) and never seems to encourage his teammates to improve. He can't fuck off fast enough. A point is a point but we've drawn too many matches and we've still got some tough fixtures remaining so we better start fucking winning soon or else...

Jesus, if you're going to obsess over that one moment from Messi then pretty much every player who's ever played has had one of those moments. Even Shearer, a legend in my eyes, lashed out at Lennon. Zidane has had a few moments of madness, Scholes tried the Maradona move at the beginning of this season and got sent off (ha ha). Every player has had a dodgy moment or two but that doesn't mean that they're a cunt.

As much as I like Gerrard, Lampard, Kaka and Fabregas for the cm roles, their style means that the ball and play revolves around them, but why purposely take the ball away from Messi?

Casillas Alves Ferdinand Vidic Evra Essien Xavi Iniesta Messi Ronaldo Eto'o Sexy football, ftw.

Drogba!!!

Could and should be five at the Nou Camp. Just goddamn breathtaking football.

van Bommel is a dirty fucking cunt. But Messi is ok because he's a god.

4-0, Henry. Hahahahaha.

3-0, Messi. Too easy, man, just too easy.

Henry misses a 1 v 1. That's the second time he's missed a sitter.

Every time Barca attack, they look like they're going to score, and absolutely everything is going through Messi. Awesome 20 minutes so far.

Messi gets booked for diving.... blatant penalty in my eyes.

I'm still flipping channels every two minutes! Just can't decide which match I'm sticking to; to watch the best player in the world produce magic or watch arguably the hottest team in Europe?

Great day to be a football fan, I must admit.

2-0. Fuck, Barca are amazing.

But it can turn a shit/average player, someone who's more sensitive to criticism or praise, into a better player. See: Parker, Scott and Bramble, Titus.