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What's the probable lineup then? Back four and keeper are set. Are we going 4-4-2? Who's partnering Cisse? Does Tiote start? With Cabaye in the middle? Sissoko as the AM to support Cisse then? Hopefully no Jonas and best case scenario is also no Tiote.

Cech; Zabaleta, Mertesacker, Azpilicueta; Coutinho, Lallana, Ben Arfa, Hazard; Giroud, Soldado, Sturridge. Fuck all on the bench.

We're not going to battle for survival you pussies.

I couldn't fit them into the formula. So fuck them.

If Shola plays then all bets are off.

You fucked up our whole season.

All right, since Dan fucked it up last year, I'm back on the job. We're doing this again, and the aim is 4th. Forget about all the shit off the pitch. None of that counts. We've had shit summers and great seasons before and great summers and shit seasons before, too. Yeah, it's a dream but if you ain't dreaming, you ain't living. On the pitch, we have Hatem, Colo, Krul and Papiss. Anything can happen. Three untouchables this year: City, Chelsea and Man Utd. Our competitors: Liverpool, Arsenal and Spurs. The final target: 69 points and CL. The home target: 13 wins against everyone else, which gives us 39 points. Three more for draws against our competitors and three for draws against the untouchables. 45 points at home. 13-6-0. The away target: Defeats to the three bigs, draws against the three aforementioned. Three victories against the promoted teams takes us to 57 in total. Then 9 draws takes us to 66 points. And a win away to Stoke takes us 69. It's arbitrary but fuck it. Let's see how it goes. 4-12-3. 24 away points. Gameweek 1 Expectations Newcastle 0 Arsenal 3 Liverpool 3 Spurs 3

You bunch of pussies. 1-1, Ben Arfa.

Just got home from Thailand vs Barca. We are such an embarrassment. 1-7 ffs. And it really could have been a lot worse if Barca hadn't started playing tricks after 60 god damn minutes. On another note, Sergi looked pretty good in the middle and Neymar and Messi seemed to be working pretty well together.

I would take him on loan and I bet Liverpool will be up for this if he's still there near the end of the August. They've been looking to cut their payroll all summer.

That maybe the case but that doesn't mean he won't get benched regardless. Benched at the beginning but by Christmas, he'll be starting.

Lukaku is better than Ba and Torres, anyway. He'll end up starting for Chelsea if they don't sign Rooney.

Fuck off

We're very short of wingers. We'll be fine at the back.

If we get these two in, I'd like one more winger. And then we're good to go, like for real.

Pip does. Thank you. SEMTEX as well.

Giaccherini is 28, he's not going to get better. Juve know who he is and they don't need him. Santon wasn't getting games for Inter. How are these two in any way similar to Niang? If you want to bring up examples then at least make sure they're comparable.

Is Gomis on 300k net or gross? If it's not net then he's going to get taxed to fuck. He won't stay a year and get taxed at 70%.

Why not? We didn't sign Debuchy because of £400k. £3k per week is close to £200k over the whole year, £1m over five years. You think he doesn't look at it that way?

Go find the quotes then. Hint: they don't exist. Niang is a young player who did all right at Milan last year. He's not anywhere close to the names you mentioned because all of them took a step up coming to us. Niang would be taking a massive step down.

We're not getting Niang, man. Stop dreaming.

Shouldn't be posting that shit here

Ah fuck, I'm falling for the PR again, especially when the main topic is Hatem.

Never gonna happen bro. I'm gonna keep trying. This place is better than this.

It's seriously bad form posting this shit up. Go to the site to read it. If you don't get there in time, sign up.