The Bonk

James Douglas, of Ithaca, NY? that would be me. I am your brother, Andrew Douglas.

Is Owen bigger than Newcastle United?

Born in the Toon, left when I was a yung'un for Toronto, Ontario, Canada. *The center of the f****** universe! *- Outside the Toon of course.

James Douglas, of Ithaca, NY?

What do you think of that, Stevie?

Asserts himself right away. Love it.

I'll be happy if he gets us in the top half of the table and 6pts from the f****** scum. That's the prescription for a successful (attainable) season, in my opinion. Howay Big Sam!!!

Yeah!! I bet they're fucking evil sorcerers too!!!! Gerrim oot da Toon!!!!!! I'll grab the axes and pitchforks, you grab the angry villagers in rags and some torches. It's time for a good old lynching/hanging down Quayside!!!! http://rpggame.wolfpaw.net/images/AnnakenHeyndricks_sm.jpg Muwahahahahahahahahaha....

I think it looks decent, keep in mind when designing badges/crests', that you have to accommodate embroidery, screen printing and various other applications.

Sure you don't want to use that off-shore account you have on Happy Island, parky?

I'll act as witness, shall you two send post dated checks for this time next year my way? Then I'll distribute the winnings to the appropriate party?

We got to 7th under Roeder with a totally demoralised side in danger of relegation. There is no reason we can't challenge for top 4 next year. Yeah, fair enough. I suppose I was just assuming that we're going to have a couple years of rebuilding ahead of us. All this stuff about re-building is oft regurgitated on here and yes it has its place....Tell me how much rebuilding had Pompey done when they were 4th in the first 1/3 of the season? None. That means nothing, tbh. We were 3rd at one point and hovered around places 3-6 for a while, it means nish. The only thing that matters is the place at the end of the season. FWIW, the top four are light years ahead of the likes of Villa, Newcastle, Everton. Spurs are closest to catching up, but i reckon it is going to take one of the top four to actively screw up and drop out as much as it is about another team stepping up. I honestly don't see the cause for thinking Newcastle are the best placed to challenge, seems like boundless optimism to me. Certainly compared to, say, Spurs (much as i dislike the idea of bigging up Spurs), when you're on course for a bottom half of the table finish. ....and what would happen if Ronaldo or Henry or Drogba we're missing all next season? Ring any bells? If my granny pissed through a cock, she'd be my grandad. And even if you'd had Owen all season, you'd have had that s**** defence still. We had to borrow a tracksuit bottomed Eastern European mentalist from Crystal Palace as we didn't have a proper goalkeeper for a chunk of this season. What if we'd had a proper goalkeeper? If this, if that, it counts for nowt at the end of the season. I do like a bit of optimism though so I'll bet you 50 of your English pounds that Villa finish above Newcastle again next season. Can we wait for a few things to happen before I take that bet? edit for the bit in bold: That would make her a Shemale.

I like Everton for some reason, well, they just don't bother me as much as some clubs. I do think they'll always be known as "The Other Club" in Liverpool. Which is a shame because I fuckin' hate Liverpool FC with a passion. Similar to Citeh, I suppose. Sorry Dr. Spectrum (I don't mind Citeh, either).

So what would be your strategy to break the mould? How would you go about building solid foundations? First, I would stop signing players that only come here because of our ability/willingness to offer them wages far in excess of market rate. We don't have a wage structure at NUFC. Look at the Owen deal, we got him here because we offered him astronomical wages and because (as is becoming increasingly evident), we put a clause in his contract that actually allowed him to leave FOR LESS than we paid for him. Stop for a second and think about that. We were basically acknowledging two things by doing that: firstly that we weren't an attractive option to Michael Owen as we were giving him an escape route out of the club that no player willing to come here would get in their contract. Secondly, and perhaps more damning, we were acknowledging that we had paid far in excess of his market value to get him to come here. We offered Scott Parker crazy money to get him here, we offered Damien Duff crazy money to get him here, we gave a crocked Kieron Dyer crazy money to get him to stay. Steve Sidwell is arguably better off at Reading than he would be here, but it looks to me like we've turned the lad's head, no doubt by talking about wages a good £15k in excess of his market value. Does this sound like a way of establishing the club of motivated winners that you're looking for? Doesn't sound like it to me. And yet this is what we have established ourselves as. We can't even shift some of the s**** in our squad because we're paying them far in excess of what they're worth and they know they're onto a cushy number here. You can talk about huge resources and being starved of success, but it's our misuse of those huge resources by our moron chairman which is making life far too easy for the players at the club. The top and bottom of it is this: Players don't come to Newcastle United to win things. They come to get paid. They do that at Chelsea and they finished second in the league this year, mate. You've done a brilliant job of outlining the problems, but I fail to see where you answered any of Newcastle Rocker's questions there? How can we attract top talent without splashing the cash? We can't, simple as.

just because citiy are a small club Actually, according to popular opinion, we're "massive". Well, according to every halfwit who gets on the radio bleating about us - and pisstaking rivals. Don't see the point myself. it IS a s**** argument to have, you're right. But lets face it, a lot of fans of every club thing their club is great. And most are wrong. What I go by, is the amount of kit's I see worn around my city. Most kit's I see here are Italian Clubs (Inter Milan) as we have the second largest contingent of Eyeties outside the States, something like 1.2-.5 million of them (You can understand how my summer went last year) in Toronto. Anyhoo, besides the Italian Clubs, the most kit's I've seen are Liverpool. The most plastic supported fuckin' club of all time. I hate seeing these cunts walk around like they have a tie to the club. Then the cunts have the gall to say, "What is that referee" top you have on there, eh? Fuck right off to hell. A three-way tie for third with Arsenal, Man U and Celtic, then it's us. I'll usually see at least 5 Toon Tops a month. Which I think is a pretty good number considering there's a pant load of European immigrants here.

They use the only source of heat in the whole refugee camp to burn a Kiddie Kit. Brilliant.

Because Paul Le Guen is a bad manager? He's saving PSG's arse as we speak. You shouldn't judge a manager on 1 failure. Plus it was Rangers, god knows how much the top brass were meddling with him in his time there.

Funny, it looked like you blamed him. "I've turned down many a job that I've thought were over my head." -Bluf Purdi, never up for a challenge. "I'm happy being mediocre." Joking mate, but I see where you're coming from and respect your opinion. However, what if your boss was championing you for the position? How would you react? Fred could have been bigging Roeder up so much that he started to believe he could do it. Nowt wrong with that.

bugger all

His bollocks and Rob Lee's leg used to play together? Wha? I take it you never seen the Shearer and Rob Lee talk in clips what were on youtube a few weeks back Nah, PM me a link?

His bollocks and Rob Lee's leg used to play together? Wha?

180 then. Good stuff. I know, how fickle can I get! All he did was put a team mate in hospital! You really are a complete joke HTL, honestly! So.... it's about 158 degree turn then?

I dunno, any player can move for the right price. You honestly wouldn't bite for $30mil? See your point, though. No pressure on Spurs to sell. I said in a previous thread that Levy wouldn't sell less than £30m, probably not go for £35m either. Not that he's worth that, I reckon around £22m currently, but it sends out all the wrong signals if we did sell, selling club, no ambition etc. Carrick had only 2 years left and wanted to go, Berba (with options to extend) has 4 and says he's happy at the present time. If we started to go backwards, he would be gone soon enough. You could buy a couple of players called ambition with 30mil in the bank. Hard to be labeled a selling club when you'd use the money to buy other quality players. You're hardly a club like Wigan.

Agree with most of what you said, but the bit in bold is reaching a bit far. A player of his caliber should aspire to be playing regular CL football.

I dunno, any player can move for the right price. You honestly wouldn't bite for $30mil? See your point, though. No pressure on Spurs to sell.