S.S.R.

Doctor - "Why, Mrs Kluivert, that's the fattest baby I've ever seen!" Midwife - "You think that's something, the woman in the next ward has just given birth to a horse."

Most talented? Gazza by a mile. Best application of talent? Pedro by a considerable distance.

F*ck

He's got a face like a trowel. Keeper fouled, corner obviously.

See how quick the ref is for playing the advantage when it's for Liverpool?

You aren't far off actually. Can't beat seeing things with your own two eyes though. Whose eyes do you use for looking on the internet, like? Flash spare-eyed c*nt. I can see Patrokles or whatever he was called getting a trial based on his dog-bamboozling skilz.

S.S.R, glad to see you are still a photoshop comedy legend. Do you still go on Toontastic? Very rarely now. Seems a bit quiet.

...and then the alarm clock went off! No, really. We're going to rise again from the ashes. Like a Phoenix club, as it were.

I appear to have stumbled across some sort of self-help group... How did you get here, was it on the way to Amarillo?

I'm sure our Bolton friend will inform us that Garlic Bread is in fact, the future.

Spot on.

Of course you do. We've beaten Newcastle more often than any other side we've faced in the Premier League. FACT! When you hit 'Post' did music start playing, and a bloke run past you with a flag, as you waved your foam hand?

Unfortunately, neither will ever be as good as Owen was.

Thought he was class personally, yet he seems to unfairly have been given this label of a donkey by a lot of people. Blamed for Portsmouth, even though two of the three weren't his fault.

Couple of times we were nearly caught out by Given's lack of communication with his defenders, when they left it for him and he didn't come to collect it as expected. You could possibly blame Cacapa et al,but seeing as he had the same problem before any of them turned up, I'll blame Shay.

Rozenhal seems to be playing on his nerves. Lacking in confidence rather than ability. I'm sure Keegan will put an arm round him and brainwash him into believing he's Beckenbauer.

I'm not suggesting him myself, but I think he'd be interested in Phil Neville. I don't know how well that would be received, though.

Nolan did. He certainly raise a finger or two at the fans in the milburn. McCann took a good hour to get off the pitch though. Was it him that gave the w****** gesture to the milburn? Or was that Davies? Nolan aye Clearly gutted that his dream move went up in smoke with Big Sam. Hope it gets reported.

Nolan did. He certainly raise a finger or two at the fans in the milburn. McCann took a good hour to get off the pitch though. Was it him that gave the wanker gesture to the milburn? Or was that Davies?

Wtf is a 'heal'?

Clever move - Bobby Fischer would have been proud.

Keegan meets and greets the players - Emre Owen

Revealing stuff there.

Viscera.

THIS GIANT KEEGAN WILL DEVOUR US ALL!