Raconteur

I'm sorry, that's inexcusable and not want I want to see on this board. wind your neck in man . I would suggest that is is you, sir, who should wind your neck in. It's no different whatsoever for suggesting Shola should be punted because he's a n***** - it's bang out of order and, as ChrisMcQuillan says, inexcusable. Denigrate his playing ability if you wish, but to suggest that who he cuddles up to at night should influence whether he remains at the club is not on. are you saying you have never,ever called some a gay? Maybe when I was about 10, before I learned how offensive it is. Perhaps that is that your excuse?

I'm sorry, that's inexcusable and not want I want to see on this board. wind your neck in man . I would suggest that is is you, sir, who should wind your neck in. It's no different whatsoever for suggesting Shola should be punted because he's a n***** - it's bang out of order and, as ChrisMcQuillan says, inexcusable. Denigrate his playing ability if you wish, but to suggest that who he cuddles up to at night should influence whether he remains at the club is not on.

Have faith - there are many more ways we could be more of a joke. But after that, well, it would be impossible to top

To think I opened this thread wondering why we were discussing this former Toon player when he should never be mentioned again. And then I read about "The Brochure" - thank you Wasserman Media Group for providing me with the best chuckle of the day

The cigar incident is being reported as an "accident" now? How does that work then...?

What's that based on? The PG seems to be very pie-in-the-sky and not exactly cash-rich (indeed there is speculation they couldn't raise 100M) - whereas the South Africans are fantastically wealthy and seem to be conducting their business in a much more discreet manner...?

If that was Hoddle's assessment of Cole, its a good job Martins isn't English and had been around when Hoddle was manager ; he wouldn't have merited CONSIDERATION for the England squad, let alone be left out.. Also, Hoddle had the luxury of selecting one Alan Shearer as his main striker - are you now going to try to compare Martins to Shearer as well...! I wasn't the one drawing comparisons, I was just correcting an incorrect interpretation. That said, one could argue that Martins was comparing himself to Shearer when he consciously chose the #9 jersey

I wouldn't put it past Ashley to have forgotten the term of Kinnear's employment! Surely we didn't secretly sign Kinnear up? Surely if he had an extended contract the dopey bastard would have mentioned it to someone and the story gotten picked up? I'm still scratching my head...

I don't understand why the story of JFK coming back has such credence - I mean, sure Ashley offered him an extended contract, but I certainly don't remember it being announced that it was ever signed...? Which means that Kinnear is, like Shearer, only contracted until the end of the (recently concluded) season - and is therefore not a club employee anymore! Can someone please point out the flaw in this logic, because as far as I can tell, this JFK bullshit is exactly that: bullshit! It's like he's being used as a boogeyman. "Kinnear might come back, Kinnear might come back. Lock up your children"

1 goal per 5 chances to score, not 1 goal for every 5 games... EDIT: I'm pretty sure that was Glenn Hoddle's assessment on Cole after leaving him out of many England squads...

If you were calling him shit after his first season then you need your head read I remember crossing swords with Gemmill regularly in his first season - he was saying what everyone (generally) agrees now upon in that he's erratic, stupid and wasteful. In that first season he scored a grand total of 11 league goals which is hardly earth-shattering. So essentially Gemmill was on board the Martins-hating bus early, and I wasn't alone in trying to argue with him, but he was right all along...

Habib Beye. That is all...

WE.DON'T.NEED.ANYMORE.GRAFTERS.WE.HAVE.ENOUGH. You're confusing "cloggers" with "grafters" - cloggers being no-talent hacks who scrape a career out of a reputation of hard work and/or thuggery. Grafters ACTUALLY work hard. So in fact we DO need grafters, players who will run all day, play hard but fair, who sweat bucketloads for the team. Like Habib Beye and (dare I say it) Steven Taylor. But we ALSO need skilful players - the difference is that we can't afford "flair players", the very skilled but lazy/stupid players (like Martins). In essence we need to find a balance of grafters AND talented players, while trimming the useless cloggers and extravagant flair players...

I'm with you...

Expect Krul to want to leave if this is what Shearer & Co (or whoever else will be the manager) have in mind.. Feyenoord will be looking for a new goalkeeper and he is their primary target. He won't want to warm our bench when he could be their No. 1. These are my thoughts too - even should Krul stay, if he's not number 1 by the winter transfer window he'll be off...

Since I already did this in another thread that sank like a stone, I'll reproduce my thoughts in this one... Since writing that though, Habib says he's keen to stay, and Lovenkrands wants to go - which goes to show I've got no crystal ball!

I've made the following list based on nothing more than gut instinct (and some notations about whether that's good or bad) : Definitely going (and nothing we can do about it): Owen (good riddance too) Martins (meh - skilful but just not good enough. Will think he deserves better) Barton (good riddance too) Jonas (thanks for at least entertaining us Jonas) Beye (will be sadly missed) Coloccini (good riddance too) Bassong (has caught too many eyes this season) Nacho Gonzalez (thanks for the memories... Oh wait) Probably going Jose Enrique (he’s not the greatest but easily good enough to escape from here) Cacapa (unless he’s given a new contract – not likely though) Geremi (unless we can’t shift him) Tim Krul (number two in the Championship? Not a chance, he’s surely gone) Mark Viduka (my hopeful smoky – he may stick around on reduced contract if Shearer stays) Probably staying Kevin Nolan Danny Guthrie (I really hope he stays, but mid-lower table clubs could try for him) Damien Duff (fat salary and all) Alan Smith (fat salary and all) Nicky Butt (fat salary and all) Peter Lovenkrands (grateful to be at a big club) Definitely staying Steven Harper Ryan Taylor (Championship might still be above his level though) Xisco (hasn’t minded not featuring, so why would he leave now he’s likely to get a chance?) Shola Ameobi (not even relegation to the Conference would see this limpet lose grip) David Edgar Steven Taylor Tamas Kadar (will get real chances now) Ben Tozer (will get real chances now) Fraser Forster (establishing himself as number two) Andrew Carroll (possible “main man”) Nile Ranger (will get real chances now) Kazenga Lua-Lua (will get real chances now) So based on that (and including the “probably staying” players), I’d suggest something like: Harper Raylor Saylor Edgar Kadar Guthrie Nolan Butt Duff Carroll Lovenkrands Forster Tozer Smith Lua-Lua Ranger Xisco Which would cost us a fortune each week in wages and still not guarantee promotion

Donniger has gone - more likely Inman or Vuckic EDIT: Sorry, I was being facetious - mozy's team is stripped to the bare bones, so I thought I'd strip it even further by removing a player who has already gone. My apologies...

The last two seasons have been like discovering the love of my life was a heroin addict, and trying to help her through it - but now she's off to rehab, which is better AND worse. Knowing she probably won't be the same girl when she gets out doesn't help either

Australian fans will be delighted to learn it's the main game on Fox Sports 2

Talk about hype! Are you basing that statement on Achievement divided by number of games played? No, it's more of an indictment on the rest of the squad - in that someone who has played 25% of matches available can influence our season more than those who play most weeks. I don't think it's such an outrageous statement - but if you do, then have a look at my avatar, and put it down to bias

No worse than Owen or Duff...

incomplete

It's been amazing to watch the evolution of sentiment towards Viduka - loathed universally while out, potential saviour as he came back (and while Owen, Martins, Lovenkrands and Ameobi spluttered) and now feted when he turns in a fantastic performance Truth is he really deserves the plaudits after his performance last night - has there been a better individual effort in this whole dismal season? We can thank him for the three points today, as well as the three against Spuds when he put Duff through - those six points could be the ones that keep us up in the final analysis... I think the commentators said he had played 9 of 36 matches this season, which is simply not good enough. But I reckon it's fair to say that he's still managed to contribute more to this season that just about anyone else.

Just on the comparison to Smith's lunge - Smudger clean missed his opponent, and if there had been any real contact then he would certainly have been sent off. Yes, Smith's challenge was worse, but that's like saying which is worse out of cancer or AIDS. And as for Barton's intent, as far as I'm concerned the ball was there to be won - the fact that he barely touched the ball while collecting the man tell me plain as day that his intent was to vent frustration/mete out vengeance. It was unforgiveable, reprehensible violence. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out Joey. Thanks for the memories (alas, mostly on the front pages rather than the back...)