Raconteur

There’s a reason they’re throwing so much wonga at football generally, and Rafa specifically. I was a bit dark about him going but feel better after reading what I assume is part two of Caulkin’s story - if ever there was a guy someone owning a football club could say “Tell us how to do it right”, then who better than Rafa. He’ll be meal planning the under-6 girls and interviewing stadium tour guides, in between setting winning records and running seminars for Chinese managers.

Why is going to Celtic somehow better? Because I like Celtic, and I don't like "Chinese football" as a concept?

I'd love to hear Caulkin's take on the "other things" that motivated Rafa's China move apart from money. And while I can't condemn the man, I do feel a little uneasy at squaring the entirely valid departure from NUFC on principles with swallowing wonga the next day. That's as much my juvenile inner commie that hates "commies" owning the richest league in the world as anything to do with Rafa. In retrospect, I'm disappointed he didn't go to Celtic, and I really thought Derby might be a chance given he could live in Liverpool and do something special with them.

Had this moment last week - started typing that I didn’t care who “we” got, deleted it, changed it to “they”. Then wiped my eye

Would be (kinda) amused to see him pitch up at Derby and have them above us within a season.

Wasn't yesterday's story that they didn't want to sell to BZG because of stadium advertising and club store merchandising rights? But today, they binned Rafa because BZG had someone else in mind? Aye, righty-o Keith

Call me a crack pot, but I don't get how you don't get genuine Toon fans actively want us to lose in the current situation? What does winning achieve but an extension of Ashley's regime? Does avoiding relegation in 2019/20 bring us any closer to Ashley leaving? What does losing achieve? Relegation with the possibility of Ashley losing money (and possibly bringing his regime closer to an end)? Personally, I'm hoping we lose 0-10 every match. Ashley killed my club, now I want to see his destroyed. Yeah that's worked really well in the past hasn't it. As I said before boycott, don't buy any merchandise, don't watch the tv, but to actually want your team to lose The possibility of him leaving is better than the certainty of him staying. It’s not going to be as easy to get back, although Ashley will no doubt think it will. It might even take more than the “couple of seasons in the Championship” many people subscribe to for Ashley to admit he has turned his asset completely toxic, but the time will surely come. If you suggest collecting a few wins while we wait Ashley out is important, then good luck to you. For me, I hope this season is a complete car crash, with £200m in sales and replaced by no marks and loanees. It’s not my club until Ashley’s gone.

He'd be daft not to leave this summer, with his stock high and his Toon future suddenly looking a lot bleaker. I just wish it wasn't Man Yoo. Surely he'd be looking to start wherever he goes.

Doesn't that tweet refer to exclusivity though, something BZG have not claimed to have? It seems like a story to give strength to rival bids as much as poo-poohing the BZG bid.

Call me a crack pot, but I don't get how you don't get genuine Toon fans actively want us to lose in the current situation? What does winning achieve but an extension of Ashley's regime? Does avoiding relegation in 2019/20 bring us any closer to Ashley leaving? What does losing achieve? Relegation with the possibility of Ashley losing money (and possibly bringing his regime closer to an end)? Personally, I'm hoping we lose 0-10 every match. Ashley killed my club, now I want to see his destroyed.

Dawson and/or Redfearn, I guess. Really inspirational return to work for the lads

That’s it, like. Anyone of any quality and ambition isn’t going to come and work for Ashley knowing his reputation and the way he runs the club. It’ll be someone on the scrapheap who’s just grateful for a job. Pardew, Allardyce, Hughes or Moyes. Oh and Tony Pulis too. Pretty much my wish list, although I added Keane and Wise. as my last two. Although Wise has to be a shorter bet for the inevitable DoF a Head Coach is going to need. Because, as I understand it, our de facto DoF is... Justin Barnes?

Had a dream Rafa took over at Derby and made them a powerhouse. Woke up feeling almost queasy.

Exactly, he’s jerking himself off about getting the better of a football titan.

Whilst I sympathise with the “don’t give a fuck” crew, I care very deeply. If Ashley remains, then I hope fervently that Ashley appoints the worst scrotebag in football. Wise, Pardew, Allardyce, Keane - shite managers and shite men. Please bring Kinnear back, Ash, you fat cunt. The Crazy Gang was only yesterday. Is there a market that has Dawson or Redfearn in the dugout v Arsenal? We all know Ashley loves to drag his feet, and no manager in situ while Barnes and Charnley manage player movement sounds exactly like what the fat cunt would do.

I reckon I might buy his shirt wherever he goes, even if it's somewhere despicable (a safe-ish statement as he's unlikely to go to a club I really loathe).

Saivet-Colback dream team in the midfield. Really makes you think of Scholes and Keane, or Vieira and Petit

"1 of the strikers"? Isn't he the solitary striker on the books when Joselu completes his move back to Spain?

Yeah.... At least the ones who'd comfortably get a better deal elsewhere: Almiron Ayoze Longstaff Hayden Lascelles Lejeune Schar Dubravka Better get out now when your stock is high, than getting a worse deal when you've just been relegated next season due to poor management. You don't put in a transfer request in 2019 - you call your agent and tell him to get you the fuck out of the club. Ashley's eyes will light up when some of the offers roll in, with not a thought as to who should play in their place. Or who should purchase those players. Or who should manage those players. Longstaff really is just a bag of unrealised loot spending too much time in the treatment room, after all...

If that's true, then you're right to say it's indicative of Ashley's cuntery Don't know about you guys, but knowing Ashley stays on makes me wish for a starting XI of players we've never heard from, Guingamp's reserve striker perhaps, alongside that young fella from Mouscron. Managed by some utterly hateful cunt like Wise or Keane or Mourinho, record lowest points total. Ayoze, Lejeune and all our other jewels sparking at other clubs. I try to say I don't care, but I just really do. At the time, I felt exactly the "I'm done" feeling I've had with serious partners. But after time, I'm fuming like the impotent ex who has discovered she'd been cheating the whole time. And while Ashley's cuntery is no surprise, the sheer level to which he'll take "cut off your nose to spite your face" is staggering.

Nah, mighty Dwight Gayle is the man to lead us to the Championship

Lock me in for a 10

Off to the bookies - last place looks a good bet right now. It’s the only interest I’ll have in the Toon until Ashley fucks off.

Might be because we know who’s likely to want to move?

I stand to collect fifty English pounds from a poster called 4 stars out of 5 (who doesn't seem to be active anymore) if Rafa leaves. I think other people tried to piggyback the wager (evens on Rafa managing the first match of 2019/20 - I wasn't the only one who thought "free money"). There seems to be more doubt as to whether I'll collect than the outcome of the wager