Raconteur

I've done Douglas a disservice - I thought he was giving the situation at the Toon only a passing glance but no, he is indeed having a proper gander.

Going to go with Dubravka, who will get plenty of chances to look like Dino Zoff while still shipping four a week Nearly went with this

Aye, that was my takeaway from that article too - surely a man can only make so many colossal mistakes?

fairly safe to assume any link with anyone over the age of 26 is probably complete made up bollocks. Honestly don't know how the likes of the Sun keep getting away with obviously making shit up yet people all over keep buying into the bullshit and no one calls them out on being utter frauds Aye, just pages and pages of pure unchallenged bullshit. In this case it’s just as likely the reporters are getting it directly from Bruce: “Elmo, Wor Andy, James Mac - I told Lee to sign them all.” Direct quotes from the Toon boss! Hold the back page! Too bad Charsley then chuckles and turns to Nickson’s list.

Amused to see them dubbed “promotion favourites” by The Guardian - very generous methinks. Surely a repeat of last season’s playoff failure is in order?

Noice

I have this memory of us playing in a yellow and green strip in the early 90s - I reckon I had a Shoot magazine Lee Clark poster of it on my wall. Does that sound right to oldies...?

There’s a parallel universe where he signed for Milan a 16 and became a god.

If he’s not going there as a first choice then a) we're basically writing off a career at the Toon; and b) Shola’s not made a good start as loans coordinator.

Erm.... Legitimate observation!

Depends if Dubravka and/or Woodman leave

Say hello to our new starting central midfielder :lol: If it means no Colback, I’m cool with that (until such time as he is revealed to be worse)

Converting GMT to AEST proved too much of a challenge

It amuses me that the club have announced the signing of a new player some hours ago and no one bothered to make a thread. Jake Turner, a goalkeeper signed from Bolton. Possibly Freddie Woodman’s replacement. Meh.

You’d think Ashley would be demanding he start so as to increase his value, rather than maliciously retarding his career by a season.

Would be less taxing than a training session

You have to stop saying Manure man. So cringe. My pettiness knows no bounds - Manure, Citeh, Chel$ki, Wet Spam, Spuds, The Arse, Fucking Liverpool. Fuck them all

If Manure are getting Milinkovic-Savic then you’d think Longstaff will be staying. Can’t imagine anyone else paying Ashley’s price for him. Which will probably significantly improve the Ashley FC midfield and go a long way towards keeping them up

Actually don't know. Maybe make a papier mache Ashley and instead of stringing it up and setting fire to it (probably incitement and a fire code violation), simply take to it like a pinata in the streets. Get it on YouTube with drunk Toon fans singing "Ashley out" all the while. There's got to be a line somewhere, surely you could do something like that within the bounds of the law?

Please tell me someone is making a papier mache effigy of Mike Ashley to string up and burn outside one of these pubs?

That's because they don't value the role of manager - because they're stupid control freaks who have no business running a football club.

Rafa bins the trash, Bruce caresses it and tell it sweet nothings. World class vs championship. Urgh. "It's okay Geordie Jack, the mean Spanish man has gone now. You can play with the big boys again..."

Dude, you've been pushing that Metro extension for yonks, but everyone who replies to that suggestion says it's never going to happen. It seems you're the only person who thinks it might...? Just observing from half a world away. And? People have said trying to get Ashley out of the club won’t do much, but we still try. People say NUFC will win fuck all, but we still support. If I and others don’t fight for this, then Metro will not be expanded from SJP in future, if I fight it then theirs a chance that somewhere down the line it will happen. People who are crazy enough to believe that they can change the world, are the ones who do. You're saying it's a better proposition than the course TMG proposes. There doesn't seem to be much support for that, and has been some resistance. I guess I'm thinking about factionalism and splintering - seems to be a good case for toeing the line, is all...?

Dude, you've been pushing that Metro extension for yonks, but everyone who replies to that suggestion says it's never going to happen. It seems you're the only person who thinks it might...? Just observing from half a world away.

Can see Charnley regifting the free chocolates to Ashley. "I got something for you, sir..."