GM

Truth be told, we never replaced Speed. And we've missed Jenas more than people care to admit. But it's all a shambles.

He may be the "Geordie Messiah", but the fact remains not even he can polish a turd. Survival this season is the stark target now, and hopefully he'll rebuild from the summer onwards, but the nagging doubts remain: will he have the bottle for the task ahead?

Deep down I think we all think that we're fucking shite. We are all embroiled in a massively self-indulgent bout of self-flaggelation and self-hatred which is perfectly natural for anyone who's been subjected to years of vile sexual abuse, buggery and torture at the hands of Shepherd, Souness and Allardyce. Fuck it. Ashley should wheel out a load of hairshirts made up like NUFC strips. Now I bet they'd sell like fucking hot cakes.

If. One of the biggest words in the footballing language. Why are we so desperate for everyone to love us? Maybe because we fell for the hype of being everyone's 2nd favourite team in the mid-90s? Maybe for the same reason people crave fame and fortune?

If. One of the biggest words in the footballing language.

So...we've got a thread on how the media hate us and are waging a media war against the Toon Army and all things Geordie and North-Eastern...and now we have one on referees, speculating how there's some sort of conspiracy against us...and I can't help wondering if there's more than just a little bit of a persecution complex building up here amongst the fanbase... Maybe my own despondency about our current situation is atypical of the majority view - maybe there really is a conspiracy against Newcastle United...but I doubt it somehow. I think this prevailing victim mentality may also not be altogether healthy for the good and the future of the club and the team. Just a thought from a sour old b****** before bedtime...

Saturdays a good day for the Christians, but a bad day for the Jews...and vice versa. What day suits Muslims best then?

Actually I think Sam said something about it being Souness who had poured scorn on Allardyce's dismal long-ball punting tactics and Sam had denied ever playing that at Newcastle, mainly because he diodn't have Kevin Davies up front.

The media love (to hate) a fallen hero.

Aye. Which one are you then? Niall or Biffa?

How irritating must it be for the Fleet Street hacks to know that despite their very best/worst attempts to unsettle Newcastle fans with their constant sniping and barracking, all they are actually doing is encouraging a "bunker mentality" which will see us become evermore United?

Fucking hell. I think some people need to up their Prozac intake. That, or just drink themselves into oblivion until the transfer window reopens

Spending spree in the summer? You really think so? We'll be selling. Holding a post-relegation fire sale, no doubt.

I'm still trying to decide which soap opera is more melodramatic: EastEnders or Newcastle United?

Grampus 8, Brother BigTRon. It was Grampus 8. Or was it Grandpa's 8?

Fucking hell man. It's the Emperor's New Clothes, all over again. Can't believe everyone's pissing themselves with glee over this shenanigans. Bring back Freddy Shepherd.

i would spend that amount of money elsewhere... besides, he wouldnt come Erm, what amount of money?

If anything, I'm taking this as sure sign we'll be targeting home nations players. I hope so, so long as the quality is there.

Nicky Shorey > Warren Barton? = Keegan getting better at this buying defenders malarkey?

b******. > about 2 million as well What?

And again...this is equally appropriate in another context in the same thread.

...would be more entertaining than anything either Souness or Shepherd have to say. Pathetic that they should be allowed to carry on in this way, it just persists in dragging the club down - why they don't just both fuck off and die is quite beyond me.

That sounds familiar... Oh, OK then...

That just sort of clicks as being a realistic Keegan type acquisition. Nice one.