Ronaldo

According to his bio Mitrovic should actually be the taller of the two. He's a right fibber, like.

Let's be honest for a second, apart from Hatem (who did it twice) he's the first winger to get 4 goals in a Premier League season for us since 2006. That took him what, 11 games? He's pretty much head and shoulders above the absolute crap we've watched out wide for a decade and he'll surely have a good PL career. You don't keep hold of players like that when you go down, unfortunately. Shame about the lack of loyalty but it serves us right.

Gouffran's been here 3.5 years. In that time he's become remarkably slower and shitter. Get rid to whoever.

Sissoko's a good player but he's far better suited to teams who're going to be up against it. He'd be fairly obsolete at any of the top 6.

It's amazing how often I read this. Where else would he have made 70k a week? Who else wanted him in the summer of '09? No cunt, that's who. Good riddance to bad rubbish. At his best he was very good but 2 good seasons out of 7 in the PL says it all. Dragged us down for long enough.

What the f***. I'd have more confidence in his dedication/professionalism as a footballer if his appearance was a bit more down to earth and "normal" , like Mickey Owen for example... Not the best example tbh - he turned out to be a detestable mercenary cunt

I wouldn't even want Southgate on the coaching staff. As someone else said, he's just a failure.

That was too good to miss, to be fair. I think when all's said and done Shearer's had the last couple of million laughs on Justin fucking Whittle.

They all have a shelf life, though. His is closer to the end than the beginning, thankfully.

The contrast there between the BBC and ITV punditry, man.

Tells you everything you need to know about the FA, and why we've failed for the past 2 decades. Who would you go for? I pretty much can't think of a suitable candidate that would be prepared to take the job. What a mess. We should've given it to Ancelotti a year ago, made him the best paid coach on the planet to make it happen, whatever it took. I'd give it to Pellegrini from those available.

Tells you everything you need to know about the FA, and why we've failed for the past 2 decades.

Peter Crouch is about as thick as Paul Merson. At least the latter has booze and drugs as an excuse.

The fact those were our two options is a bigger joke.

Some envy showing itself in this thread. We're not a great side yet, but we're definitely a good one and we should bulldoze shit like Iceland. We should beat France too.

He can't start fucking Sterling, surely?

Hungarian coach looks like a rounder version of Timothy Dalton.

I've always had a bit of a thing for Gignac, like. Wish we'd signed him 3 years back.

Definitely.

I think it's the actor who plays Michael making the calls.

All we know for certain is that virtually all of the not so well known players signed on his recommendation turned out to be unfit for purpose.

So moderately successful, in fact, that we've spent a decent amount of money in the past 3.5 years to be involved in 3 relegation battles in that time - one of which we couldn't survive.

Ayoze Perez? No.

I'll say it again: every time Carr's actual scouting ability has been put to the test, he's failed. And no, buying Hatem and Cabaye isn't scouting, it's common sense given their price at the time.

Not many England internationals would get away with having 90% of its fans probably unable to know who the f*** you were if you were stood next to you. Nailed it.