Ronaldo

I can.

I'd say a very large and very crude image of his face on a bed sheet complete with a tear rolling down his cheek and the message James suggested would be ace. If anything could convince him to lead us out at magnificent grounds like the Pirelli Stadium it would be that.

Have people seriously not figured out Steven Taylor by now, like? 12 years of shit performances, man.

Every time a manager gets sacked Martinez come out in support of them, even when they've virtually relegated their club. He's taken Everton backwards, no question.

I'm concerned it's being a tad overused. Keeping it in the bag for when Neesy's inevitable meltdown occurs on relegation night.

I wasn't wrong about it, that's why.

Why's 3 seasons being used? Oh, yeah, because it fits this daft agenda. Anyone who think Shelvey's going to be to us in the Championship what Nolan was (in terms of goals) is probably stupid enough to think we had a good transfer window in January and looked good under McClaren. Oh wait.....

We both know Kevin Nolan had a very respectable goalcoring record before he joined us and Jonjo Shelvey doesn't - certainly not at top level. Honestly, you're about 4 decades too old to be wumming around on a message board, man.

People said similar about Hughton. You know as well as I do that coaching has only been part of the problem. Yeah, a fucking massive part, given that we've not looked like a team all season and a lot of our players seem to have forgotten the basics. Perez looked like a future superstar at times last season. This season he can barely trap a bag of cement. The coaching is utterly shit. We've get zero leaders in the squad so whoever's in charge next season certainly can't be of that standoffish and delegate as much as possible to the senior players ilk.

Cathro, man. The coaching this season has evidently been as bad as it gets. No fucking thanks.

That really has nothing at all to do with what I've just said, though, has it? Nolan scored something like 19 goals in our promotion season. Shelvey won't get a fraction of that.

Except Nolan had a track record of getting a very respectable amount of goals (which is why he was extremely useful in the Championship) and Shelvey doesn't.

We don't even have a decent core now, unfortunately.

Fucking students, man. Just a hellish experience even trying a grab a pint in Newcastle on a Monday night now. Place has been put through the retard mill beyond repair.

Hardly call Centre Parcs a holiday, like. More a short break for couples.

All they do is eat each other? Fucking hell, never going there.

Siding with Colo over Hatem is every bit as bad as Souness over Bellamy.

Taylor and Tiote, more like. Playing that fucking idiot Tiote is madness is the best of times but when you've got a defence incapable of defending set pieces it's like asking to concede.

Strength, power. Also is tall and has height.

you would if you had the sense to sign and play a pacey small player off him. Exactly. Some of the fastest attacks in PL history have included a frontman with no pace - us under Bobby being a good example.

To be honest I'm on the fence about him starting at the moment. He has to be in the squad, though.

I'm utterly shocked that they both appear to be foreign Man U fans.

Shola never started most of a season for us though. He would've done that or come pretty close in 05-06. Waste of time, anyway. Shit player. Thank fuck he's in the lower leagues where he belongs.

He got way more than 30 apps, like. He was absolutely shit in the PL.

Lovenkrands' and Mitrovic's goal rates are pretty comparable in the Premier League. The former also had a turn of pace and was a neat finisher. Are you on crack tonight or what? Lovenkrands scored about 7 PL goals for us in 2 and a half seasons.