Ronaldo

I'm curious as to why Mick was in the same place as Cabella and Sissoko on a night out, like.

Had an image there of Carver being quite an articulate, incisive man in his youth before finding booze and irreparably damaging his cognitive ability.

Fucks sake man, that's embarrassing. I'm slightly drunk, but even I can't find a positive in taking the written press through tactical analysis and blathering on about it not being any use of your players aren't strong enough. I just wish this season was literally over instead of just metaphorically. Not much of a metaphor, like.

And with no measurable positive consequences.

He can play CB in the same way he claims to be able to play FB or CM.

The right thing is selling our best players and keeping the money for himself?

About that, yeah. Dalglish or Gullit era.

I remember him beating the opposition's physio in a race across the pitch. Surreal sight.

I did. The Andy Williams concert. It wasn't that funny, mind.

Ridiculous views.

I wish you'd stop trying to be witty.

Carroll's a decent lad who's acted like a cunt at times.

Funny you say that. Every single time I see an old lady knocked over or in some way intimidated by youths on Crimewatch it genuinely reminds me of Colo.

Also the same here in the UK tbh, I've lived in rough parts of London and Birmingham and there's plenty of people knocking about with that kind of 'swag' I'm pleased to report with the utmost certainty that none of the chavs I've seen in Newcastle or Manchester wear rainbows on their shoes or carry handbags, like.

Clueless or not he's unshakeably pliable and utterly complicit. Someone to make the day-to-day decisions that will see his salary rise as Ashley's financial targets for the club business are satisfied.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH I just don't understand how people can be as horrifically misinformed as this in 2015.

This, basically. Total fucking idiot.

Hope someone reminds John Carver he said he didn't need any new players the second he mentions injuries.

Took Yeboah's record for fatest in the PL, I think.

He blatantly is, mind. He should just say it.

The shoes.

He's a fan of Alan Pardew, man. Not worth bothering.

It will be, if you're a tad thick. All people are saying is that his age can't be used as some sort of excuse for him. Lack of experience, of course, but Sammy has turned down several opportunities to go out on loan in favour of sitting on the bench or in a warm seat in the stands. Of course a player's age AND experience can be used as an excuse. Players develop at different rates - you only have to look at someone like Harry Kane for extremely recent evidence of that. He's older than Sammy and, prior to this season, had shown no signs of developing into a very good PL striker. Sammy may never get any better than he currently is, but I think it's worth giving him a couple of years more to see how he develops. If he doesn't get any better, then move him on. Well that's s***, for a start. Also factor in that Kane's role is one young players seldom seem to thrive in. Sammy's a winger. If he was ever going to be a very good one he'd have shown far more than he has in the opportunities he's been given. Yeah, kinda like all the other players that have thrived under the current tutelage. Some of our supporters....shessh. He has shown enough to get a contract. Heaven forbid we have a solid backup, or competition for places. I'm not sure what your point is as I've not advocated releasing him. Truth be told I'd give him a contract and send him to the Championship for a season.

To be fair, as utterly shit as Alnwick was in his few starts he's the a perfect example of how well the training ground, reserve games and games for shit like Gateshead prepare you for PL football. You need games at a testing professional level in order to be able to even avoid embarrassment in the PL.