Ronaldo

Well that's just weird, to be fair. I'll remember his hilarious performances on the right wing against Fulham last August.

We can't because we won't. Won't pay the going rate for players, that is.

Offer us £5m for Elliot instead please.

Neat and tidy sums him up perfectly. Not a bad footballer exactly but at this level thoroughly incapable of dominating games in the middle and making any impact going forward. The definition of poor scouting, basically.

That's absolute nonsense, like. And I don't just mean the typically strange way you've worded it - like very average at PL level and decent at PL level are hugely contrasting assessments. He was basically either good, or a blatant rick or two spoiled his performance. There was very little mediocrity to be found in an individual Bramble performance. Bobby was right to speculate and sign him because he had everything physically and technically, just not nearly enough between the ears nor the concentration span. Pretty much all that needs to be said on Bramble really. Good enough to shut out top strikers on his day, dim enough to concede goals under barely any pressure on others. Precisely.

This is scary.

That's absolute nonsense, like. And I don't just mean the typically strange way you've worded it - like very average at PL level and decent at PL level are hugely contrasting assessments. He was basically either good, or a blatant rick or two spoiled his performance. There was very little mediocrity to be found in an individual Bramble performance. Bobby was right to speculate and sign him because he had everything physically and technically, just not nearly enough between the ears nor the concentration span.

If our targets to start in central midfield aren't worth us paying £12m for they probably shouldn't be targets. It's a nothing amount for a player in his prime with significant PL experience.

Imagine if that's true, man. And let's be honest, it probably is. Struggling to find £12m as a Premier League club in 2017 after a decade of spending absolutely nowt

Who the fuck said that?

I didn't say he did, he just looked like he absolutely wouldn't in about a billion years get outpaced and outmuscled by an old Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.

As others have said you can't take nothing from that, like. Boumsong looked like a fucking super athlete, until he had opponents to deal with. That Onyewu bloke too.

We can close this now, imo.

He was a mainstay of the very good defence that helped us finish 2nd in consecutive seasons, like. Obviously not a world beater but he'd moonwalk into pretty much every defence we've had since.

You've got some obsession with Rooney's physique, like.

Rafa Benitez is our manager. If a defender isn't good enough at PL level he'll be replaced and out of the team. If he is good enough he'll stay in it.

It's not outlandish at all. It's our best since the four Billy mentioned circa 2003 if Lejeunne is as good as a few people have said he is.

One of them likes to WUM and the other thinks Rafa being lied to in January is nothing to worry about. Watson was perfectly capable of doing a solid job there, and pretty much everywhere else, in the PL. Lascelles may improve but right now I don't want him anywhere near the team.

There's a difference between Watson being a natural CB and him being better than Jamaal Lascelles, which he absolutely was in that positon.

Did you even bother to read what I said?

Ronaldo incoming in 3...2...1... Thank you for the introduction. Off the top of my head: Albert, Howey, Peacock and Watson if we're talking a quartet of players capable of playing at CB.

Isn't that Dirk Kuyt?

Not always. There are often legitimate reasons for nonfulfillment of contractual obligations that negate the opposing party's ability to claim damages. Mistake, frustration etc.

It's a shame about Diame. Smashing player at West Ham. He's just physically shot.

Ey?