Ronaldo

That's not realistic, though. It definitely is realistic to find upgrades on Dummett and Yedlin, much as both of them can do a job.

I'd rather buy two full backs and keep last season's starters for backup.

Odd question. The fact that Semedo's young, without PL experience, more of a ball player and anticipator from the limited occasions I've seen him and what I've heard. Pretty obvious you've got to partner such a player with an experienced leader who can play the stopper role. Hanley and Lascelles I don't want starting for us in the PL and Mbemba's not of that style likely to be sold anyway. That leaves Clark, who as I've said, himself needs said type alongside him if he's to start for us next season.

Yeah, someone like Semedo theoretically replaces Clark in the team. You wouldn't really want them playing together. We absolutely don't have a natural partner for a Semedo type.

We've spent virtually nothing on CBs in the last 15 years, like. I'm not sure how we thought we were gonna get away with it.

Doesn't have a fucking clue.

Both goals (Jenas, Ameobi) in that 6-2 defeat to Man United were cracking strikes from memory. Nah. Poor back-pass leading to a fairly straightforward finish if memory serves. Laurent Robert at Anfield when we lost 2-1 in 2004 is the best answer to this. Think his one at Everton the season before is an even better one. Decent shout. Fucking robbery of a game that was.

Both goals (Jenas, Ameobi) in that 6-2 defeat to Man United were cracking strikes from memory. Nah. Poor back-pass leading to a fairly straightforward finish if memory serves. Laurent Robert at Anfield when we lost 2-1 in 2004 is the best answer to this.

Probably worth mentioning they scored the same number of league goals despite Gayle not having pens and playing 1300 fewer minutes. I do hope we sign him as our backup but if you're expecting him to be a more physical upgrade on Gayle as our main striker you'll be disappointed. In time he'll be an absolute fucking beast of player, mind.

Yep.

I was responding to Shak's point about him fancying his chances for the starting spot over Gayle. Think it was pretty obvious that's what I meant, too. Love to know how playing 2 games a week is less demanding, mind.

Abraham has a lot going for him and is very well suited to our system, but I can tell you now he's way behind Gayle in terms of touch and the intelligence of his movement. As it stands Gayle is the better bet by far.

A Mitro type is the opposite to a Rafa type, tbh.

That's the thing. As much as I'd like us to build for the future using players under contract to us, even Liverpool (Moses) have used loans to fill gaps in their squad. No harm in one or two.

Same answer for him, really. We're in the PL now. Would've been a good signing if we hadn't just gone up.

You're aware we've just been promoted, right? Adam a chance ffs.

I'm sure I've read this exact sentence a billion times, like.

Good thing he didn't join Brighton then. Exactly, what a strange post.

He's perfect for the system, like. His performance against Huddersfield a couple of months back would've given Rafa an erection.

Do we have any young keepers? Woodman and who else?

Half dead = much better than Elliot, Sels and Darlow.

I think Geordie's slightly preferable to sounding like you go playground-to-playground in a blacked-out Range Rover at 1AM, mind.

They do. Audley Harrison used to talk like that before they warned him to stop it for Strictly Come Dancing. It's pretty tragic, like. Talk properly, man.

You haven't lived until you've experienced the Google Earth magnificence of Ipswich Town's Portman Road. Especially the view from Portman Road, complete with tramp fast asleep.