Ronaldo

Got to say, I don't know what Beardsley was smoking when he said Hatem was the laziest player he's ever seen. The lad's ran his bollocks off lately.

That's racist.

Not for us he's not. I blame him.

Football isn't all about attacking ability though. The work that Jonas puts in has to be considered, especially in a narrow midfield that relies on people running their arses off. Ian, man. Christ.

Colo, HBA and Cisse are all irreplaceable. Nobody else is.

Bit like saying Laurent Robert was a good replacement for Stephen Glass.

You do it in a second if you were the most important bloke in your house, let alone the world.

No, in a word.

Which Ben Arfa goal?

It's scary mismanagement. No idea how they managed to make enough money to buy the club in the first place. They're from India, right? Without knowing anything about them they were probably born into the 30% that have money as opposed to the 70% who work as slaves.

3 goals at Old Trafford, man. I think it took them till January (seriously) to score twice at Ewood.

Wouldn't say that's a horror, like. In some cultures of third word countries like Northern Ireland that's a warm welcome. Anyway, since that Liverpool game 18 months back I've been consistent in my love for him. Even when he severely angered me by picking Smith and Lovenkrands.

Here's my worst:

Pardew had no choice but to take it really.

Fair play to Roeder for that.

I really, really want Wigan to score.

To be fair, NUFC were (wrongly) suggesting it in 2008.

Getting rid of Samba was inspired.

"Broken (digital) clock, twice a day" comes to mind.

What the fuck is Venky's chicken? I've never heard of it outside of their Blackburn association, which in itself makes it the last thing on earth I'd eat - and, Christ, do I eat a lot of chicken.

Kean reminds me of (an ugy version of) Cotton Weary. Might be the nose.

Nicely done.

I agree.

Not often I disagree with you but that's twice in a minute. I think he's very consistent.