junkhead

Can't help but get excited by every positive report on the takeover. I hope your source is correct UncleBingo. However, I can't shake the idea that the whole thing is just the latest Bishop PR attempt, which has predictably snowballed into various media reports, ITKs and whatnot. Due diligence/data rooms/private flights etc.. At one time, The Chronic posted that there are 4 independant parties that have submitted offers of more than 200million. There are several facts that for me indicate all the takeover talk might not be genuine after all: 1. The talk was started by Ashley himself - straight after yet another inadequate appearance in parliament. If he was genuine about selling the club, announcing it prematurely like this is counter-productive - it weakens his bargaining position and possibly violates NDAs. The interview, of course in front of his Sky buddies, as always happy to let him peddle his scripted lies without any further questions. Time has proved that everything Mike Ashley has said so far in front of the huge Sky audience has been downright lies. His exact words in the interview also hint at his dishonesty, but I don't even want to get into that bullshit.. To this day, all the takeover "news" seem to be leaked by the Club, not the interested buyers, which is unusual. 2. This season has seen a much increased presence and PR efforts from Ashley and his cronies with regards to the club. Bishop and Barnes being ever-present in games and press conferences / "recruiting" Lascelles on their side / using random discredited pundits to attack Rafa and the fans / the various attempts to sabotage the protests.. turning off the TVs in the ground ffs. All these efforts ain't no Ashley exit strategy. If anything it's a strategy to facilitate Rafa's exit, which I expect will reach its conclusion in the next month or so. 3. Guess who wins again. As we've seen last year, a failed takeover bid would give a perfect excuse to not spend money again, with the added bonus of undermining Rafa for one last time, so that he can finally give up on his Newcastle project and let Ashley hire someone less demanding, more "manageable" or downright corrupt (in reference to Mike's pathetic apology to Allardyce awhile ago). Ashley knows that even if he screws him again, Rafa will probably honor his contract, so we have a good chance of avoiding relegation this season even without January investment. 4. Unchanged circumstances - As far as I can tell, the unrest among the fanbase is not yet big enough to directly endanger Ashley's interests. Sports Direct still benefits massively from free advertisement in one of the world's most lucrative and watched platforms - The Premier League. The last 10 years have proven without a doubt that this is the main reason why Ashley owns the club and he has no intent on losing it. I doubt his recent attempts to "save the high street" are so time-consuming to him that he feels the need to get rid of the club. If anything he needs positive media coverage for his brands even more now. I wanted to list a few more things but writing all this bullshit down depresses me.. fuck that shit

Ugly 1-0 loss nailed on.

Very worrying signs.. this season might turn out harder than I expected..

Without most of our leaders, I can see us struggling at the start. Hopefully we go for it. Howay the lads!

Chances are that it's the club's money paying for that bullshit too.

Even if Joselu plays shit again, it might still be a good decision to introduce our new forwards later. Will give us a boost if we're still in the game.

That's surely gone in

Keith Bishop doesn't tell Ashley what to do. I doubt that he's any sort of PR guru as well. He's merely a personal assistant to Fat Mike. When I saw them years ago in the pub, his main duty was to serve the beers, stay silent and hold Ashley's pint for him. Evidently his other responsibilities include spying on Rafa's media briefings and probably handling communication with various 2nd rate media scumbags that are happy to peddle Ashley's lies.

We're criminally short in both full back positions. Last year at least we had decentish cover in Mbemba, Gamez and Haidara. As things stand, Manquillo will play every other week and we'll have to rely on Clark (a very limited LB / our first choice CB now) or Sterry if someone gets injured. I doubt Lazaar would feature even if there's nobody else to play. Add to that Lejeune's injury and the lack of cover at CB.. With no youngsters good enough, we lack numbers in defence, never mind quality. Ashley's getting a bit ahead of himself in his attempts to undermine Rafa. We're two long-term injuries away from relegation as it stands. It's suicide to start the season like that.

That ridiculous failed attempt to chip the onrushing striker in the 6-yard box.. Was it his debut? To get £4m back for him is incredible.. probably the most nervous keeper I've seen for us. Even Jak Alnwick was more commanding

What did he say that was misinterpreted? I don't know My colleague's English isn't the best so it's possible that I've misinterpreted that bit. He was saying it as an example of how respectful he has been towards the club and the fans. Forgot to add that he ended our conversation by declaring that he was happy with the 10 million fee, which slightly contradicts everything he told me before

My mate said he was terrible against Brazil in the WC. Can't say I remember him tbh

OK, so I had a cracking conversation with my Mainz-supporting PM about Muto.. It's fair to say he loves him - it was like he was describing his son. Apparently he's a very clever, humble, brave and hardworking lad. My boss even referred to him as the "golden son/sun" whatever the fuck this means He talked several minutes about his character and personality before I interrupted him to ask about his actual footballing qualities. Muto has adapted very quickly to the German league and even spoke understandable German in his first few months there, until he made some mistake in an interview, which resulted in the media making a bit of fun of him. From then on he only did interviews with an interpreter, cause "he didn't want to offend the fans with his broken German". Also said that he had a bad knee injury two years ago and suffered a re-occurrence after preseason, causing him to miss nearly an year. Despite that he has returned as fit and athletic as ever and hasn't had any injury problems since. Football-wise Muto is more of a support striker than a target man. Despite that he has almost exclusively led the line for Mainz as a lone striker "cause they had nobody better at that role". He runs the channels and often looks for space on the wings. He's not tall but very athletic and surprisingly strong in aerial duels. His best attributes are his athleticism, agility, work rate and clever off the ball movement. All in all, very encouraging report Seems like the lad can fit in great at the Ayoze position or even leading the line in a Gayle-sort of way. I guess his pace means that he can be used as a more attacking option on the wings too. Sounds like a perfect Rafa-type attacker.

My Depor supporting mate rates him and he usually doesn't even refer to defenders as footballers. Said he's a very good passer and overall a reliable defender. Not very powerful but often wins headers. He started well at Deportivo but towards the middle of the season made several stupid mistakes and apparently it affected his confidence. Said he was probably their best defender but it's difficult to judge how good he really is, because their whole team had an awful season

I think he mentioned in an interview for NUFCTV last season that his kid was born very prematurely. I hope to god that the little one is okay. Hayden seems like a very nice, professional lad. Even if we can't sell him, the club must help him in any way possible.

One of my best mates is a La Coruna fan. I'll try to get a detailed scouting report

The project owner on the thing I'm working at now is a big Mainz fan. I'm having a conference call with him in 30 minutes. Will try to get a detailed scouting report.

They're linked with ex-Sheff Wed captain/Sean Bean lookalike Glenn Loovens, who is 35 in a couple of months. He was a very solid, commanding defender for years but I watched him a couple of times last season and he's so laughably slow and immobile that it affects his judgement and anticipation. Still, might be a good addition to their midget squad.

It makes me sick that the club's accounts are paying millions for Ashley's OWN inadequate, paranoia-ridden attempts at "PR". How fucking small time is this guy? I thought he'd limit himself to indirect THEFT from the club through retail and other common SD dealings.. why am I surprised though? So typical of our thick, lying, cheap, petulant supreme leader.. It's very worrying that he has no intention to sell. We're stuck with this parasite suffocating the club and without Rafa Benitez it will be 100x harder to cope.

Would be very sad to see Lascelles go. He has been brilliant for us. Reliable on the pitch, influential and professional off it. We almost never see such quick evolution in NUFC players. But imo, as a physical CB he's not irreplaceable. His leadership will be missed of course but if Rafa remains, I don't think that would be an issue. There's a high level level of commitment in the squad. Rafa is very pragmatic, he knows Lascelles is our most sellable asset and probably has a rough amount in mind in case there's serious interest from the rich clubs. Said amount is where our wonderful owner's repeated promise of "every penny the club generates" comes. And also his notorious flexibility in the transfer market. I can already picture us hopelessly low-balling random CB's from the Dutch league a week before the league starts.

Also got injured again after our fantastic manager decided it was good for him to comeback too earlier from injury. ..on an artificial pitch. But Pardew HANDLED him!

To my knowledge - Slimani is the first player we've signed (loaned) under Ashley that has been on more than 30k at his club. I don't think we even look at players who are on more than that, regardless of their price/age etc.. With the astronomical increase in wages, we can pretty much forget about any popular names or players already established in England.

So what ITK noises are we talking about exactly?

The fee would be nominal, if any. I think another loan is more likely. Somehow he's one of our highest earners, so we'll have to subsidise his wages so that the ginger prince can have some incentive to go and play football elsewhere.

They come across pretty well tbh. A bit too chatty if anything but sound informed and their analysis of the mackems' plight has been spot on. It's a huge challenge to turn the club around get them promoted this season. For a start, they'll need 15 new players yet again in the summer. Will Cattermole, Rodwell continue to drain them? Will be interesting to see what happens.