NEEJ

+ Clarke Carlisle, the dream team Ah shite. The mute button might be getting a going over.

He's terrible, mundane c***. Who on earth is co-commentating? He's came out with some ridiculous statements and we're only a minute in.

Oh great, Sam Patterface is commentating.

I thought Marquez retired ages ago.

He was on Sky Sports News before, he gave the least convincing explanation ever for retiring. Actually sounded like he was on the verge of tears, in a huff because nobody wants him.

What a swindle that match was.

Fix.

Horrendous decision. Wow.

Has Cannavaro always looked like a Bond villain?

The ITV intro again.

Gustavo needs a good hot meal, poor bastard.

CONTROVERSY!!!

Lucky boy, Neymar.

ITV's title sequence is possibly the worst thing my eyes have ever seen.

The cider throw looks more and more unconvincing the more I see it. Aye, he definitely forgot what he was doing half way through.

Come to think of it, what does he actually do? Be Robbie Williams mate. Hosted You've Been Framed, man. Give the bloke some credit.

What a man. Was obvious as soon as he picked up the ball on the halfway line.

If Seedorf gets the boot at AC Milan then we need to give him a contract here. Player-manager, sign him up.

Harsh as owt on Richman.

Miles better than watching NUFC, this.

He's a champion bullshitter, I'll give him that.

Louder than a Premier League match, Old Trafford. Davids and Wilkes might end up scrapping here.

I loved the Manias, best Predators ever. The remakes look like the cheap version in that photo though, where's the split midsole?

He was in a right strop afterwards. He was stomping about the pitch like an angry toddler. It looked like he couldn't care less about the match.

Hodgson has appalling posture. He looks like his spine is twisted.