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"This is a huge job which comes with considerable pressures..." :lol:

Presumably this is actually going to be formally announced at some stupid hour as always, isn't it? Edit: after all other papers have gone to print, given what's just emerged this afternoon. Double edit: or actually as soon as I type that.

Would it not perhaps be something Rugby-related for the World Cup?

Bored of this, now. Just fucking announce it rather than wait until quarter past 10 or something like we usually do.

Hahahahaha fuck off you pair of cockwombles.

Reckon he'll end up coaching in the Chinese/Indonesian/Indian league at some point along with the likes of Peter Reid and John Gregory.

I just want to see is play half-decent football for once. We've been fucking horrible to watch since Pardle's little run back in 2011/12. I'm not expecting us to surge up the league by any means but if he can make us mildly entertaining with whatever he has to work with then it'll be a start. Aye, I know this is what we've been reduced to.

Even though we've binned Ryan Taylor and freed up the number 4 slot, he'd have to have a new number. Can't have people simply wearing their old gravy-stained tops again. We'll do a Portsmouth if people don't buy Puma's latest offering.

Does this mean I can start to believe we might actually score from a corner again?

Think Woodman will look for a way out if those two are being binned. He's probably on the phone to ol' Pardle begging him for an offer.

Nar, man. I mean some fan has shopped it, stuck it on a camera then made out it's a leak from the club.

This is doing the rounds on twitter. Admittedly someone could've just shopped it, put it on a memory card then made out it's been worked on on a camera, like.

Lynsey Hipgrave

Love the Chron's obsession with places of birth.

Smoked loads of tabs.

Muzzi Ozcan @Muzziozcan · 2h 2 hours ago West Ham has agreed terms with Slaven Bilić wish my good friend a great season at West Ham ! And welcome to the East End ! His agent, apparently.

Bet the cunts get them from Gateshead flower show anarl.

Proper hope he adopts a thick Northumberland accent for his press conference. "Av been speakin' ta Jern and 'e sez that forst hurm game is a good chance fa Marveur ta impress."

Just take solace from Ryan Taylor's wayward shot going in off his arse.

Uses the word coach twice within the same sentence and of course points out where Carver is from. There's more Just shocking how this bloke is in this job. This is absolute gold: http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/newcastle-united-players-want-stay-9391897 Just full of bland, meaningless, empty statements.

More classic Ryderisms. Uses the word coach twice within the same sentence and of course points out where Carver is from.

Wouldn't be surprised if the press conference consists of McClaren just being shoved in front of waiting reporters with no Charnley in sight, tbh.

I just hope one condition of employment he's managed to work into his contract is that Mike Williamson is sold/exterminated ASAP.

McClaren had the players to play half-decent football at Derby, with a midfield who liked to get forward - Hughes, Russell, Bryson, Thorne, Hendrick et al. We haven't got that, nor will we spend enough to get anything like that.

I also think that deep down he is actually quite a sad, lonely and bitter person.