Oakie Doke

Ronaldo's too fucking easy.

Taylor was injured in the warm-up to the first match of the season. There's that iconic image of Willo carrying him off the pitch in his arms. How am I the only one remembering this.

beginning of the 11/12 season. Didier Drogba no less went on record to say it was the most organised defence he'd ever played against.

We were unbeaten iirc. These are the facts.

Our defence was much better when it was Simpson Willo Colo Raylor this club makes no sense.

sign him up!

http://wwpbehindthephotos.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/sofia-14.jpg?w=520

Portugal 3-3 France (Portugal win 7-5 on pens) Greece 1-0 Iceland Croatia 4-1 Romania Ukraine 1-2 Sweden pm me your predictions

Cabaye and Remy coming on.

Everything is going ok so far. BUT it's only half-time and it's only a 1 goal lead. Still another half to play and there could be more goals in this. By the way, has anyone come up with any Polish jokes? I'm thinking maybe a reference to the fact there is a large Polish population within England. Food for thought as we begin the 2nd half. See you on the other side.

Norway had better let Iceland win tonight. Don't be pricks, Norway.

CARS

Not football related but I did fantasise about having a threesome with the Peru Two last week.

Pardew probably gave him the Mars Bar at half-time.

Professional footballers in being better than non-professionals shocker.

Never played with a pro footballer as such but this is about the closest I've got: When I was in 6th form me and my mates used to have a kickabout at the park in between classes. After a few weeks we noticed that at these kickabouts there always stood the same figure on the touchline - that of a man in a grey hooded jacket (hood up), holding a cane. He would barely ever move a muscle and was always there. Sometimes he appeared a little late, but he was there nonetheless. To be honest this guy's very presence began to freak a few of us out and eventually we moved to another park. He found us. There was talk of just stopping play altogether, but we decided to man up and stand our ground. Anyway one day my mate, who really wasn't very good, leathered the ball out of play. To our horror, it bounced over towards this mysterious figure, who trapped the ball and folded his arms, almost daring one of us to retrieve it. After much deliberation, I eventually plucked up the courage to run over and ask for it back. As I approached him he raised his hand as if to say "stop". I stopped. "Would you like your ball back?" he asked. I just stood there in silence. He did a few keepie-uppies then passed the ball back to me. I thanked him nervously, asked him who he was and why he was always at our games. "I.." he began, before quickly removing his hood "...am Oleg Luzhny". I vaguely recognised the name and sort of pretended to be impressed. "Tell your friend, Danny... is it? He could make a good winger, but he must not neglect his defensive duties." He then walked away, grinning. This was the first time he'd ever left the pitch before we did. When I got home I looked him up but couldn't even find an 'Oleg Luzhny' (this was 2005 and wikipedia wasn't what it is now). Turns out at the time he was a scout for Arsenal and had been spotted at a few parks around the country, feeding the ducks, playing on the swings etc, before being relieved of his duties and going back to his native Ukraine.

aww diddimz.

he thinks you're from Middlesbrough.

...in which case they won't need luck?

Dalien Sturridge Pelanty

This is how I spent the first half http://s22.postimg.org/p160sfkjl/haleyjoelosment.png It's Haley Joel Osment but he looks too human.

safe hands from Hart.

I hope Belgium win the World Cup next year, even if England qualify.

Ordinarily people live and learn, but you, you just live. I'm not saying you're stupid, but I am thinking it. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge but it looks like you just gargled. (If he shows his face again after these put-downs he's a better man than me.)

Dennis Bergkamp.