Oakie Doke

The floodgates have opened at Fratton Park

"He said what about Polish builders!?"

Err yes, they're years ahead of us.

Papiss Cisse is struggling to score goals because.. Ba is a greedy b****** He's played out of position We don't create enough chances Another down, next. He's the only man in world football who has correctly interpreted the offside rule.

No wonder he's in the fackin' reserves.

John Lewis.

He's saved every club at some point or another. Then he sacrificed himself for our sins.

It would be better if he just mimed what the interpreter was saying a la Taka Michinoku, looking deep in to the camera. INDEED.

Don Cowie sounds like it should be the name of a pre-WWI footballer. For instance my grandfather used to talk about the great Don Cowie, who would smoke a pipe whilst playing and was sometimes late for matches because he'd been trapped down the mines.

Yeah what a tard.

Gary Lineker and the music banter he has with the MOTD2 editors. Awesome stuff. Makes my week.

Chris Hughton's lost his mojo. Needs to bring back the wry smile and refer to "this group of lads" more.

That was a fucking beautiful goal. Met with a warm applause from the Arsenal fans.

Thanks guys. A real game of two halves! Can't wait for MOTD.

I saw up to Cabaye's goal but missed the rest of the game. Can anyone summarise the match for me using an image of John Cusack pulling a facial expression? It's the easiest way for me to understand things.

Newcastle corner restart the game!

You have an annual general meeting meeting. That's some serious dedication to procedure right there. It's an Active Gay Men meeting. Excellent. I can't stand those lazy gay men. They really let the side down. That's exactly the sort of forward thinking attitude we need. We could really use someone like you on the panel.

You have an annual general meeting meeting. That's some serious dedication to procedure right there. It's an Active Gay Men meeting.

wish we'd just concede. I've got to go to an AGM meeting.

In the words of Rolf Harris, this is going to be a pussy riot.

Ten outfield players, one goalie. All male.

Clarence Seedorf is not better than Tiote. Get a grip.

Mike Ashley's at the stadium but apparently he's appeared in the dressing room via video link to wish the lads well. Couldn't even be bothered to visit them in person.

Word fail me. Did you send an error report?

yeah I meant Saylor rather than Willo but Ronaldo's response made me revert to p*ss take mode. still, we've had fun here tonight. I won't forget it.