Pilko

I hope Lampard takes them down, would be glorious.

Aye. We'll get a token photo with a toon top for now and some proper press when he's back. No way he's allowed to jet off to the UK what with the COVID risks for a few pictures.

Hope that's a 3 match ban.

Wonder if we'll see/hear any news on the medical today? It'll be lunchtime over there by now, you'd like to think there'll be at least confirmation that it's occurred and no hitches etc.

I wonder if this Steve Nixon is any relation to Homer Nixon?

We haven't bought a centre back since summer 2018, we're absolutely desperate for new blood in that area, shipping goals left right and centre and yet with a bottomless pit of cash (admittedly in a difficult window) we can't get better than Lascelles or Clark? Much like those two chumps can't defend, I can't defend that concept either. A CB is an absolute must.

I think we need Bruno and a centre back as an absolute minimum on top of what we've got, otherwise it goes down as a poor window.

Hopey arriving at the back stick there

Just rip with me, and rip with me, and Schar with me right now...

done says TalkShite

Jeremiah St Juste from Mainz. Centre half

Hope there's an overzealous reporter at the Brazil match tonight who can get a few words out of Wor Bruno, something along the lines of "yes, it happen" and confirming he's due a medical tomorrow etc.

Traore's agent must be fucking incredible. He's absolutely chod.

Jonjo Shelved

Bakker the net

Maybe a panic over nowt then...

Eh, who did, you or me?

Good signing at a low price, direct from one of the better defensive units in the league. Big lad too for set pieces in both boxes. I work with a lad who knows his brother - fun(ish) fact: Dan lost one of his fingers aged 13 climbing over a fence.

Centre mid Can run round a bit Has some ability Exotic name Non-domestic signing I'm in

What a fucking waste of time that was then. Nice work.

Nat Phillips at those fees quoted I wonder if it's Mandy, Eddie or a.n.other who's obsessed with carthorses? This feels like an utter shitshow, they've got a week to get some signings in and it feels at this rate like we'll be offering Emmerson Boyce and Chris Iwelumo £5m each to come out of retirement.

Garlic king prawns

Finally, a reasonable explanation for signing Chris Wood.