Pilko

Norwich 1-2 Liverpool Crystal Palace 0-1 Spurs Leicester 2-1 Stoke Man Utd 0-0 Southampton Sunderland 1-2 Bournemouth Watford 0-0 Newcastle West Brom 2-1 Aston Villa West Ham 1-3 Man City Everton 3-0 Swansea Arsenal 1-1 Chelsea

I've always liked the look of Matt Phillips, seems a canny player.

Do they have Greggs in China?

I'd be fairly pleased with Mame Biram Diouf like. Think he'd be a canny addition.

I have literally no idea why he dropped McCarthy for the shittest regularly-appearing PL keeper since the likes of Marcus Hahnemann. Unsurprising, though. Anyone remember when he blamed Krul's poor distribution as the chief reason we got turned over by fucking Stevenage?

He's like all the best bits of Cabaye, Ben Arfa and Rob Lee molded into a player, with the Nolan/Speed knack of knowing when to arrive in the box. He's fucking sublime.

Little bit of a mixed bag but he looks hungry, athletic and hardworking. I'm sure he'll improve.

Best footballer I've seen in a toon top for about ten years.

That Bournemouth game next week looks massive, cos they've got 4 bloody horrid fixtures after it.

What an absolute joke De Jong is.

I hope he's queuing for a rail ticket and ends up behind someone buying a travel pass; which involves photographs, scissors, forms being filled in, and his access won’t wipe. You get the picture.

Hope it's a loan. Otherwise I'm a bit unsure.

We've hardly fucking played him for Christ's sake. Why on earth would we loan him out?

A slightly more obscure character (Viktor Krum) http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/07/21/10/2AB7671100000578-3169237-Aleksandar_Mitrovic_has_completed_a_move_to_Newcastle_United_fro-m-14_1437471445164.jpg http://static2.hypable.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/viktor-krum-pottermore-retirement.jpg

Confused at all the "Colo was class" comments. The Lingard goal was a prime example of him being way off the pace and getting done like a kipper when he finally catches up.

We'll lose.

Glad I turned off at 0-2, could hear everyone downstairs getting all excited at our "comeback" etc and didn't bother. We were losing this the moment he gave that first pen.

We're not winning this game. Dean's already done that for us.

I hope that twat Dean gets aggressive knob rot. Fellaini should be off, another blatant NUFC pen denied and a bullshit one all too freely given to Man U. Cunt.

Lewis Grabban has just gone for £8m; a player who I'd wager that 90% of non-FM playing fans will have never heard of. £12m for an England international with loads of PL experience for the age of 23 in this current day and age is a pretty low fee.

I'm glad we're signing a player with Premier League experience, yet who is still young and on the rise etc etc. It's quite a sensible signing.

I don't disagree, but I feel like I've been reading you saying that since about 2008.

0-0

I think 10m for Shelvey is pretty decent.

We'll get him on 31st January. Then we suddenly realise it's just Charnley at the end of a month-long crash diet and wearing a pair of cuban heels.